One Mom's Facebook Takeover: Fair Punishment or Going Too Far?

   By drodriguez  Jul 20, 2012

When you’re a 13-year-old girl just about everything your parents do can be considered embarrassing. One 13-year-old girl however may have cause for complaint after her mom took to her Facebook in an effort to use public humiliation as a form of punishment.

Today Moms reports about Denise Abbott’s creative punishment for daughter Ava by superimposing an X over Ava’s Facebook profile picture with the caption, “I do not know how to keep my... I am not longer allowed on Facebook or my phone. Please ask why, my mom says I have to answer everyone that asks.” Ava was then told she would have to write a separate explanation (no copy and pasting) for every Facebook friend that asked about why she was being punished.

Abbott explains that her daughter was being punished in this way because Ava acted out toward her in front of her friends. Though Abbott did not expect her punishment story to go viral she explains why she decided taking over her daughter’s Facebook like she did was the appropriate punishment in this case. Abbott says, “I was trying to think of something that would impact her so she would know what it felt like to be embarrassed in front of people. I think you need to have empathy to understand the situation.”

Abbott has received both support and criticism for her parental actions toward Ava. Parenting expert, Dr. Janet Taylor, explains (in the vain of “two wrongs don’t make a right”) why she feels Abbott’s punishment is the wrong way to go. Dr. Taylor says, “Just like we don’t want our kids to embarrass other kids, as parents we don’t want to embarrass our children.”

What do you think of the way Denise Abbott decided to teach her daughter a lesson?

Do you think Abbott punished her daughter fairly or did she go too far?

Make a Comment

SimplyDavia by SimplyDavia | HUNTSVILLE, AL
Jul 29, 2012

Hooray for MOM..You Go Girl..I cannot believe some of the wretched and foul mouthed, rude, outright out of control behavior on Facebook of several really young girls! I think the lesson is this..Parents have lost their right to discipline and to correct their children and the children will grow up to become this the kind of society that we want to have? America has the RUDEST, OBNOXIOUS, SELFISH REPUTATION WORLDWIDE...and where does the blame on that lie? Our roles as parents are to raise and guide our children to become capable, dependable, mature, self-reliant adults..Not to Be their FRIENDS, BANK ACCOUNTS, DOORMATS etc....Parents need to take ownership and start taking back their RIGHT to adjust bad behavior..I believe that maybe next time this little girl might think a bit closer before she opens her mouth. Parenting roles have changed and so has this was the most effective way to combat this head on while making Mom's point Very Visually Clear!

Page55 by Page55 | Schoolcraft, MI
Jul 26, 2012

Go mom! She is the parent and doing what parents need to do: set limits and follow through with consequences. I'm not going to judge what she did because it's not my kid and I don't know the whole story. I will say that I have seen way too many kids not being disciplined by their parents and I applaud her for being a responsible parent!

RavenDeadlocke by RavenDeadlocke | DENVER, CO
Jul 26, 2012

Many parents do this kind of this. My sister does it to her 18 yr old problem son. I don't think it's going too far. Kids today are more worried about what their friends think and how they look. This got her where "it hurts."

cardreader by cardreader | Dudley, MA
Jul 23, 2012

All this woman did was to prove she is bigger and has more power. This woman is the child's mother not the child's friend. She needs to educate and guide her child. A personal letter of apology to each of the women's friends delivered face to face would have gotten the message across. As an adult she knew that her comments on facebook would spread fast. .It is clear this mother lacked in teaching this child basic manors.

itqtpie by itqtpie | DOYLESTOWN, PA
Jul 23, 2012

I ouldn't have done that to my daughter as punishment, but It's a free country and every parent tries to do their best and we all have different codes and morals we live by. My daughter isn't on Facebook but I would just take technology away no phone, computer etc.Just a plain old grounding. In today's world a teen without technology is a nightmare to them.

FreeNClear by FreeNClear | APPLE VALLEY, MN
Jul 23, 2012

Well, it's not really "public" if her Facebook profile is locked down to only the girl's friends - as it should be with any child allowed to be on Facebook. Without knowing more about what the girl did to embarrass her mother, I can't say if I think she went too far or not. Did the girl do it with belligerency? If so, then the mother was perfectly within her rights. Discipline must be memorable to have impact. However, if she was just acting childishly and inadvertently embarrassed her, then it may have been too far. She didn't call her names. She didn't beat her. She showed Ava what it feels like to be embarrassed in front of your friends. I like her creative parenting. I am betting that Ava will not soon forget it. I will also bet that Ava is much better behaved than kids with parents afraid of hurting tender feelings. Kudos to her mom.

Paisleygirl by Paisleygirl | LAS VEGAS, NV
Jul 22, 2012

Good for her!

lupay85 by lupay85 | WESTPORT, CA
Jul 22, 2012

For me personally knowing my kids this would be too harsh but my kids are very sensitive. This mom knows her kid and I'm sure if she thought it was too harsh she wouldn't have done it.

bound4aruba by bound4aruba | Hershey, PA
Jul 22, 2012

If more parants would stop giving into the "what will the Jones' say..." way of parenting today that I see on a daily baisis less reasons for parants to have to go to this extreme would occur. I applaude the mother for stepping up. Hoefully more parents will take charge so that we will have a more respectful generation than i see currently.

alwaysblabbing by alwaysblabbing | RACELAND, LA
Jul 22, 2012

I don't think she went too far. She did nothing illegal or wrong. This is her child and we dont know the entire story.

singlemommyof2 by singlemommyof2 | KANNAPOLIS, NC
Jul 21, 2012

It's her kid, nothing wrong with it. My son is 12, at that age kids don't seem to listen or care if punished. But they care when it involves their friends or social life. I bet her daughter learned from it.

askomsky by askomsky | Phoenixville, PA
Jul 21, 2012

I support her decision, I agree that kids these days don't have enough accountability. It's better for her to learn the lesson now then 5 years from now when it could be more severe. If they want to try and "act" older then they should be able to handle their punishment. She'll definitely think twice before she does something like that again.

Idagal by Idagal | Nampa, ID
Jul 21, 2012

Hooray for Mom! I've seen my granddaughter and her friends' FB pages. Some of the things they post are crude, revealing, and they should be humiliated at themselves. I don't think that Mom's punishment will leave this child scarred for life, and I hope the kid learns something from it. Parents today need to take drastic and/or creative measures to teach their children.

Phall24 by Phall24 | Bel Air, MD
Jul 21, 2012

I understand, and actually don't feel she went too far. I think young people today lack respect and basic manners when it comes to their parents, grandparents, teachers, adults, etc. I see it on a daily basis and am appalled by their behavior. More parents should follow suit and be intolerant of disrespect. Sometimes a message needs to be sent. Maybe it'll even get this daughter's friends thinking twice before they disrespect their mothers.

lexusgirl38 by lexusgirl38 | DECATUR, AL
Jul 21, 2012

vain/vān: Having or showing an excessively high opinion of one's appearance, abilities, or worth. vein:a. Anatomy Any of the membranous tubes that form a branching system and carry blood to the heart. b. A blood vessel. Really