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One Mom's Facebook Takeover: Fair Punishment or Going Too Far?

One Mom's Facebook Takeover: Fair Punishment or Going Too Far?

When you’re a 13-year-old girl just about everything your parents do can be considered embarrassing. One 13-year-old girl however may have cause for complaint after her mom took to her Facebook in an effort to use public humiliation as a form of punishment.

Today Moms reports about Denise Abbott’s creative punishment for daughter Ava by superimposing an X over Ava’s Facebook profile picture with the caption, “I do not know how to keep my... I am not longer allowed on Facebook or my phone. Please ask why, my mom says I have to answer everyone that asks.” Ava was then told she would have to write a separate explanation (no copy and pasting) for every Facebook friend that asked about why she was being punished.

Abbott explains that her daughter was being punished in this way because Ava acted out toward her in front of her friends. Though Abbott did not expect her punishment story to go viral she explains why she decided taking over her daughter’s Facebook like she did was the appropriate punishment in this case. Abbott says, “I was trying to think of something that would impact her so she would know what it felt like to be embarrassed in front of people. I think you need to have empathy to understand the situation.”

Abbott has received both support and criticism for her parental actions toward Ava. Parenting expert, Dr. Janet Taylor, explains (in the vain of “two wrongs don’t make a right”) why she feels Abbott’s punishment is the wrong way to go. Dr. Taylor says, “Just like we don’t want our kids to embarrass other kids, as parents we don’t want to embarrass our children.”

What do you think of the way Denise Abbott decided to teach her daughter a lesson?

Do you think Abbott punished her daughter fairly or did she go too far?
 

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  • lupay85 By lupay85
    07.22.12  

    For me personally knowing my kids this would be too harsh but my kids are very sensitive. This mom knows her kid and I'm sure if she thought it was too harsh she wouldn't have done it.

  • Paisleygirl By Paisleygirl
    07.22.12  

    Good for her!

  • FreeNClear By FreeNClear
    07.23.12  

    Well, it's not really "public" if her Facebook profile is locked down to only the girl's friends - as it should be with any child allowed to be on Facebook. Without knowing more about what the girl did to embarrass her mother, I can't say if I think she went too far or not. Did the girl do it with belligerency? If so, then the mother was perfectly within her rights. Discipline must be memorable to have impact. However, if she was just acting childishly and inadvertently embarrassed her, then it may have been too far. She didn't call her names. She didn't beat her. She showed Ava what it feels like to be embarrassed in front of your friends. I like her creative parenting. I am betting that Ava will not soon forget it. I will also bet that Ava is much better behaved than kids with parents afraid of hurting tender feelings. Kudos to her mom.

  • itqtpie By itqtpie
    07.23.12  

    I ouldn't have done that to my daughter as punishment, but It's a free country and every parent tries to do their best and we all have different codes and morals we live by. My daughter isn't on Facebook but I would just take technology away no phone, computer etc.Just a plain old grounding. In today's world a teen without technology is a nightmare to them.

  • cardreader By cardreader
    07.23.12  

    All this woman did was to prove she is bigger and has more power. This woman is the child's mother not the child's friend. She needs to educate and guide her child. A personal letter of apology to each of the women's friends delivered face to face would have gotten the message across. As an adult she knew that her comments on facebook would spread fast. .It is clear this mother lacked in teaching this child basic manors.

  • RavenDeadlocke By RavenDeadlocke
    07.26.12  

    Many parents do this kind of this. My sister does it to her 18 yr old problem son. I don't think it's going too far. Kids today are more worried about what their friends think and how they look. This got her where "it hurts."

  • Page55 By Page55
    07.26.12  

    Go mom! She is the parent and doing what parents need to do: set limits and follow through with consequences. I'm not going to judge what she did because it's not my kid and I don't know the whole story. I will say that I have seen way too many kids not being disciplined by their parents and I applaud her for being a responsible parent!

  • SimplyDavia By SimplyDavia
    07.29.12  

    Hooray for MOM..You Go Girl..I cannot believe some of the wretched and foul mouthed, rude, outright out of control behavior on Facebook of several really young girls! I think the lesson is this..Parents have lost their right to discipline and to correct their children and the children will grow up to become adults...is this the kind of society that we want to have? America has the RUDEST, OBNOXIOUS, SELFISH REPUTATION WORLDWIDE...and where does the blame on that lie? Our roles as parents are to raise and guide our children to become capable, dependable, mature, self-reliant adults..Not to Be their FRIENDS, BANK ACCOUNTS, DOORMATS etc....Parents need to take ownership and start taking back their RIGHT to adjust bad behavior..I believe that maybe next time this little girl might think a bit closer before she opens her mouth. Parenting roles have changed and so has discipline..so this was the most effective way to combat this head on while making Mom's point Very Visually Clear!

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