Bringing Back the Butterflies

I just had our 36th wedding anniversary May 28. We stayed home, week day! He bought home Chinese, had a few drinks. But on the weekend we went bike riding ,ordered take out. It was my choice.On Sunday I wanted to walk on the beach. We travel alot and I usually get what I want, no special occation needed. Yes always try to do different things, don,t need lots of money either.

I just celebrated my 20th year wedding anniversary on the 18th of this month. Often times during these years, I have had to ask myself that Tyler Perry question, "Why did I get married? And something happens or we do something together that gives the marriage that bond back. If it's a mundane activity with no new skills required nothing happens, but if it's a new activity requiring teamwork on both our parts we regain a greater appreciation for each other.

long-term romance? i'd settle for short-term dating. the couples from these long-lasting marriages need to give men (who am i kidding; they're not men, they're BOYS!) in their 20s some lessons on dating and how to treat women they're interested in! here's a hint: taking me to a bar is not a date...

it seems that as generations pass by people get in relationships that dont last nearly as long and the divorce rate has flourished and now its as if love dies out after a while... its sad to see but not to say this is 4 all relationships or marriages mine happens to be going great I could not love my spouse any more than right now . you just have to come to common grounds and learn to appriciate them more

Boredom hits relationships hard. People need spontaneity. Compromise.

We will be married 11 years in December. We are always trying new things. We don't want the spark to go away. Our daughter will be 11 in May and she has only added to that spark. Our lastest adventure is going to college with each other. This I am sure will be a real bonding moment.

Yes, after years of marriage you definitely have to make a choice to keep your marriage great everyday! You also both have to understand that its not that you love each other less but that you are just much moroe familiar with each other that it seems less like "butterflies"! When we start to notice we are getting mundane, we schedule a "date" or go somewhere new. We also like to reminisce about the times when we first met, listen to music we listened to when we first met, look at pics together and it brings back some of the excitement of when we first started dating and helps us appreciate how much we've changed and grown--together!

i think that both parties in a relationship have to want to spice it up, or in some cases even make it work after long periods of time. I have been with my significant other for 8 years, and there seems to be absolutely nothing that can bring us back together. We have been having problems, and there have been accusations of infidelity, but no absolute proof. I want things to change and get better, or be the way they were in the beginning. I knew the very first moment we met that I loved him, but now, I wonder what if we never would have met. I hate to say it, but in a way, I dont believe there is anything that can help my relationship. When 2 people who live in the same house dont even speak to each other for days at atime and sleep as far away from each other as possible ( when he even sleeps in the same bed with me) what do you do? I love him, but I dont feel the same from him in return. Some days, I feel like I am just a livein housekeeper or a nanny. Everything that gets done in the house is done by me, and if it isnt done, it is complained about by him. Some days, I wish he would leave me, because the pain in my heart is so extreme that i would rather just get over that love than to try to love and be loved any more. As the saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Seems like that is true, until you evaluate the amount of pain you feel from that loss.

I totally agree with this. My FH and I recently picked up skiing as a new activity and it really rekindled the excitement! It is hard though to keep it interesting, it's work!

I truly agree, when being in a long term relationship you lear what will make it sizzle or fizzle. Your likes, and dislikes, I think both parties need to bend over for the other at times. Honesty is also so important.

I have found a way to make my 17 yr relationship feel brand new again.......Having another baby!!!! It has made us both realize what we loved about each other to begin with.

I also agree that you have to do new things to keep the relationship interesting, but with kids and a job it just don't seem like there is any time left for each other.

If you stop loving ,nothing brings back your feelings.Just shake hands and be friends.

I cant even imagine why anyone wouldnt want to try new things...recall that incredible feeling you got in the lower part of you abdomen when you even thought of being with your partner? trying new and different things or reinventing the old things that worked before almost gaurantees you to get that feeling back. (if you've lost it) I say try doing the things that take you out of your 'comfort zone' If he isn't one to try dancing a little bit with you to a slow song then you dance for him. It is amazing how the little things can spice up your life. I put a little love note in my sweety's lunch each week and most often it is when he does something I truly enjoyed like going for a walk in the woods or something small like that that means alot to me. I make sure I tell him what it meant to me. On occasion I slip the sexy lil note in his lunch and am quite often surprised by the call I receive at lunch time tee hee hee...go ahead girls..spice up your life a little...it is soooo worth it for both of you!

Due to my husbands job we only see each other a couple of hours a week. I am just so happy to be with him that I don't find our time together boring. I am sure not seeing eachother a lot is creating its own excitement because there always seems to be a "spark" between us.