SHESPEAKS Your Power to Influence

Why "Phubbing" May Be Destroying Your Relationship

Why

We’re all guilty of it - you probably tell yourself, “just a quick glance at my email, the news, or Facebook and no one will be the wiser”. But when it comes to relationship trouble, smartphone use can be a major distraction that’s ruining your intimacy and offending your spouse.

CNN conducted a survey about the relationship destroyer that’s being dubbed “phubbing” (a mix of phone and snubbing) and ranks right up there with other areas of marriage conflicts like money, sex and kids. With the average adult checking his or her phone once every six minutes, it’s no wonder our smartphones are getting in the way of intimacy between partners.

The survey of 175 adults involved in serious romantic relationships found that 70% of them felt that phubbing was hurting their relationship, getting in the way of important interactions in their day to day lives with their romantic partner. When your partner is venting to you about their work day or even trying to discuss the intricacies of your relationship, periodic glancing at your phone can be hurtful and it seems the majority of us have either experienced phubbing firsthand, are guilty of it or both.

It was also revealed in the survey that those who feel they are most often the victims of phubbing feel more conflict in their relationships and those that reported higher smartphone use experienced lower relationship satisfaction overall.

Maybe all of this smartphone use is strictly a habit most of us have picked up, but for those on the receiving end of phubbing they tend to feel that their partner is choosing their phone over a meaningful interaction with them. The phubbing itself can become such a source of conflict that more arguing occurs and leads to lower relationship satisfaction.

What do you think of this survey that suggests phubbing is a major source of dissatisfaction in romantic relationships?

Do you and your partner try to be mindful about smartphone use while spending time with each other?

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  • gzc3gzc By gzc3gzc
    12.23.16  

    I think this article is on target. My husband and I make a concerted effort to put devices down. I do it for my children so I feel compelled to try hard to do with him too.

  • Mhanna416 By Mhanna416
    12.23.16  

    I do this to my boyfriend and don't even notice it. Smart phones have given us another distraction but this is small enough to bring everywhere and useful enough to actually be kind of needed. I am trying to fix this, my boyfriend is as well but he uses the iPad

  • Lexis79 By Lexis79
    12.29.16  

    I totally agree. There is nothing worse than your partner constantly being on their phone, from experience it makes you feel inadequate because you feel like they apparently have something more important or interesting than you on their phones. After the feelings of inadequacy comes lower self confidence and jealousy which ultimately leads to arguments and breaking up. At least in my experience.

  • Babylee By Babylee
    01.08.17  

    I would agree. My husband and I are mindful now that we have both accused each other of doing it lol.

  • lifesatrip By lifesatrip
    02.07.17  

    dump it, unless it's family or your job even that needs to be in balance. i deleted my facebook 3 years ago, i didnt realize how much i was on it, and how it bothered my husband. i missed it for a 2 weeks but even now when i hear my friends talk about the fb drama..forget it...just went back to instagram but private account and only people i know. shouldnt be on the phone so much it take time from your partner, and with that said if theres something your doing you wouldnt want your spouse to know about..then you shouldnt be doing it! stay single. Lifesatrip

  • Shanaisrad80 By Shanaisrad80
    03.20.17  

    I totally agree with this! Since I heard about this term, I told my hubby! Now we are aware of it! We were guilty of doing the exact same thing! The kids would be asleep and we would both be staring at our phones in complete silence for hours! Now, we make sure to check our email, and bond. 💓

  • KyjayeStokes By KyjayeStokes
    08.16.17  

    My partner and I have both agreed to deleted our social media accounts. They do cause problems in relationships.

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