Feeling Blue? Why the Men In Our Lives Might Not Understand

   By SheSpeaksTeam  Jan 08, 2015

If you’d rather turn to your girlfriends for a little TLC rather than your partner when feeling blue then you’re not alone. There may be a very good reason we hightail it out of the house to have a girl’s night when facing woes. A new survey reveals men don’t feel our pain as well as women do and often have a hard time showing empathy during our times of need.

Fox News reports about the Australian survey that suggests men are far less supportive than women when dealing with their partner’s hard times. Scientists asked 20,000 participants about “negative shocks in their lives, such as the death of a friend, losing a job, or becoming ill.”

What they found was that about 24% of women say they react to their partner’s “negative shock” just as intensely as if it were happening to them, whereas only 7% of men felt this was true of themselves. Both men and women said they felt about the same amount of emotional upheaval when something bad was happening to them.

Researcher Paul Frijters explains how the results of the survey may have something to do with the role men feel they have to take in society and does not mean they are emotionless. He says, “It’s not that men are cold, emotionless fish, but we found they were much less affected by what happened to their partner.” He adds, “It is not that men are unemotional or uncaring, since they are quite strongly affected by what happens to themselves, but they simply are not very emotional when it comes to the feelings of their partner.”

What do you think of the survey that finds women are far more supportive of their partners in times of need?

Do you rely more on your girlfriends or your partner for emotional support?

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Justmissash by Justmissash | CLATSKANIE, OR
Feb 09, 2015

I don't really go out with my girlfriends. We are all too busy with family. My hubby and I are inseparable. Sometimes that's good sometimes we may need time apart, but we get that during day at work. When I'm in stress mode or emotional, he's not the greatest at comforting, but we've discussed that before and had mini arguments over his lack of sympathy or support. He is better now and will just cuddle or hug me instead of staring and standing there and telling me "it's ok. Don't cry." Now he tells me it's ok to cry and to let him know what I need. But he's still not as supportive or emotional about stress like I am or as much as I hope sometimes. He's so laid back, or just holds it in and sometimes I just want to really want him to yell and scream and cry or do something besides say "it is what it is." Lol

ashlilee by ashlilee | ATLANTA, GA
Jan 17, 2015

I confide in my husband over my girlfriends. My husband connects with me on a far more personal level because what affects me affects us and he understands that. My girlfriends are supportive but it's not an ongoing day-to-day support like my husband provides.

poshqueen by poshqueen | Woonsocket, RI
Jan 10, 2015

I rely more on my partner, only because I know that my feelings and secrets are safe. Men keep their feelings inside and don't like showing emotion for fear of looking "soft" or unmanly. I'm an empath which is a gift and a curse, I feel people no matter what.