When I first divorced I knew I didn't want to have the "normal" situation where both parties hated each other and were always at each other's throats every chance they got. I'm not that way in any other relationship and I didn't want it to be that way in this one either. I think it's important that even though your marriage didn't work, your co-parenting can. A lot of people seem to forget that it's not about you anymore, it's about your children. It doesn't matter how hurt you are or how badly you just want to throw something at your ex's face. Your kids are what matters and their well being comes first. Do I need to repeat that??
So when you don't put your differences aside your child/children can sense that. They know it when you don't like each other. It's important to always try and be together in the things that matter to your children. Events, school functions, sports, activities, etc. Seeing that both of their parents can be around each other in a positive way reassures them that although we don't live together anymore, we're still working together to make sure they're OK.
Here are a few tips that have helped make co-parenting much easier:
- Keep the lines of communication open.
- Avoid throwing the past into conversations. The past is there for a reason. Move on and get on with your life.
- Always provide a united front to the important people in your child(s) life. Teachers, Coaches, Parents of your child's good friends. Don't try to prove that you're the better parent.