How Women Define Self-Worth & What Makes Us Happy

   By SheSpeaksTeam  Jun 14, 2023
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What makes us feel good about ourselves and how can we improve self-worth?

We recently asked over 1,000 women all about feeling good about themselves and how self-worth can be determined. What we found was that women see these two things very differently and use different methods to achieve both.

Check out some of the key discoveries made through this survey -

Biggest Impacts on Self-Worth

  • Family and upbringing was the number one factor on self-worth with 81% respondents choosing this option.
  • Career and professional success is also a big force with 65% of women saying this impacts self-worth.
  • Tying with career and professional success was “romantic relationships" at 65%.
The Struggle Is Real, What is Driving Low Self-Worth?
  • On a scale of 1 - 10, with 10 being most confident and 1 being least confident about self-worth - 25% rate themselves a 1, 2 or 3. Only 20% would go with higher score of 8,9, or 10 and 55% are in the middle, between a 4 and 7.
  • Number one of the list of ways women feel their self-worth is lowered is by “comparing myself to others” with 61% of respondents citing this as a struggle.
  • More than half (54%) said either a “childhood experience” or “negative self-talk” contributed to low self-worth.
  • And close to half (45%) felt that “relationship problems” was a factor in low self-worth.
How Can Women Achieve a Sense of Higher Self-Worth?
  • According to our study, most women (77%) say that surrounding yourself with positive people will do the trick.
  • Next would be setting and achieving goals at 72% and 71% say just being with loved ones can up your feelings of self-worth.
  • More than half (64%) say that using positive affirmations helps.
  • And 50% say getting professional help with a therapy or counseling can do wonders for self-worth.
 
Here are a few quotes from some of our SheSpeaks members who took the survey.....
 
  • "Our environment and who we are surrounded with daily contribute a lot to how we act as a person.
  • "Children are very much influenced by their family growing up, especially their parents. If they are belittled as a child their self worth is diminished."
  • "I see this all the time in my friends I try to encourage them to feel more confident But It's hard after years of "you can't", or "don't do that", or "be careful", I try very hard not to fall into that trap!"
  • "Females are groomed early on to be a certain way by their families and even by society. So many things they expect of females, while using other behaviors that are considered good in a male is considered unladylike. Societal norms/expectations for females are totally outdated and awful, and thankfully they are changing."

What Brings Women Down and Makes Them “Feel Badly” About Themselves?
  • Not “being valued or respected by others” is the number one reason women report they feel badly about themselves, with a whopping 74% answering in this way.
  • 67% say that “failing at something” can make them down about themselves.
  • And 66% say that being criticized is enough to make them feel badly about themselves.
 Women Who Are Feeling Good About Themselves Say…
  • Accomplishing goals (87%) is a great way to help feel good about yourself.
  • A close second at 82% is “being kind to others”
  • 78% of respondents say “taking care of yourself physically” is another way women are boosting the way they feel about themselves.
  • And “being respected by others” also scores pretty high in this category at 74%.
Aliza Freud, SheSpeaks founder and CEO and noted women’s insights expert, found some of the results about negative impacts on self-worth as “concerning.” “A large percentage of women (85%) say that they have struggled with low self-worth. The fact that almost this identical percentage (84%) report that their self-worth has a strong effect on their happiness, we know that it is an important factor in mental health,” said Freud.

Do you relate to any of these findings?

Share your thoughts with us below!
 

 



 

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Comments
sweetchic by sweetchic | SAN MARINO, CA
Jun 16, 2023

I agree that what our parents tell us growing up impacts us greatly. They are our role models and everything they tell us sticks in our brain, for the rest of our lives. Thus since my mother valued physical appearance, having a career, being a good mom, having high achievements, reaching perfection in our work, earning a high salary, having a stable job, then these things are now important to me. She was critical and anxious and this makes me critical of myself and others, as well as anxious. Her comments become internalized in me. I am also very sensitive to being criticized by others, even strangers and can feel deeply hurt. I am deeply hurt by lack of respect and inequal attention as well in social situations. My husband's opinion of me is very important and affects me greatly. I also agree with others that when I feel bad about myself, doing kindness to others makes me feel better.

MissBlair0220 by MissBlair0220 | CAYCE, SC
Jun 16, 2023

I know my self worth is extremely low right now.

Buttercup1993 by Buttercup1993 | Colorado Springs , CO
Jun 15, 2023

I have always had a hard time when it came to finding my worth I would always feel and be so down on myself, but one day I just said no more. I started to really listen to myself and realize once I started loving myself from the inside it was becoming easier to love myself and find my self-worth even more. I have my ups and downs and I am by no means anywhere perfect but I try to love all my flaws and improve myself in various ways because I am capable.

ChrysTru by ChrysTru | CONYERS, GA
Jun 15, 2023

As a woman self worth is defined as part of my upbringing. Growing up my mom always mentioned my weight as an issue. However, looking back I was very skinny. To this day she continues to talk about my weight and it affects me. My weight spirals back and forth from little to having a butt and small gut. Now that I?m grown I have to do what makes me happy and that means being free of critics and people defining beauty. Self worth is the root of how society sees us and the lack of respect. We as women have to push against this culture and change how people see us and force them to respect us or don?t entertain them. At the end of the day we only have one life and I choose to be happy. I choose to not allow others to dictate what I should wear or what I should say. After all we all have flaws and no-ones perfect. You either like me or leave me. I hope this is beneficial to the women that don?t have a voice or are afraid to speak their truth.

ElizabethMenard by ElizabethMenard | NOBLESVILLE, IN
Jun 15, 2023

What makes me feel good in my life is knowing that my family is happy and healthy. I know that as I get older I feel better about who I am because I know that am being the best person I can be. I?m not perfect and I don?t want to be. It?s human to have flaws and I?m ok with that. I try to concentrate on being healthy and always happy.

MiaCouch by MiaCouch | Beaverton, OR
Jun 15, 2023

AMEN!!!

rkosully by rkosully | DOTHAN, AL
Jun 15, 2023

Accomplishing goals definitely makes me feel good about myself!

Hywelda9 by Hywelda9 | SADDLE BROOK, NJ
Jun 15, 2023

We can only truly love others and contribute to this world when we love and appreciate ourselves -something that has been historically taken away from women.

Rcallaway by Rcallaway | SILSBEE, TX
Jun 14, 2023

Yes most definitely I can relate.

Preethy by Preethy | Dunlap, IL
Jun 14, 2023

Yes, of course ! For me , bringing up my kid with moral values and good character lays an important role and also my responsibilities at my home ! Secondly ...my passion ofcourse ...passion of my career!

bert54 by bert54 | HAMDEN, CT
Jun 14, 2023

I totally agree with these comments. Respect works both ways and I also feel helping others and kindness help ones self esteem because when doing that one feels so good inside. Taking care of your mind and body contributes to your health and well being as well

laurie655 by laurie655 | BILOXI, MS
Jun 14, 2023

I can relate to so many of these and I am making sure that my daughter knows her self worth.

edentongirl by edentongirl | EDENTON, NC
Jun 14, 2023

I can totally relate to the first quote : Our environment and who we are surrounded with daily contribute a lot to how we act as a person. We truly are able to change our self worth and the way others perceive us.

Thecorpsebride by Thecorpsebride | N SCITUATE, RI
Jun 14, 2023

I relate with quite a few. What bothers me alot is how men think our beauty and worth as a woman is tied to our fertility and once we hit menopause...we should be "put on the shelf " so to speak. When men go gray/white they are called silver foxes...but when women do, we are "old hags"!!! What the world needs to know is, we are still beautiful, relevant, sexy, funny, and have purpose no matter if we are 20 or 90!! We don't stop being any of those things because of a natural body process!! I'd like for there to be less stigma around women aging in general.

Gabbiecat by Gabbiecat | Denham Springs, LA
Jun 14, 2023

I know that I have so very much to be thankful for, but even so feel less than worthy. Being told for years that I was fat, (even though I have never weighed more than 130 at 5'6"!), ugly, you're not good enough, it's hard to overcome. I am working on it though.