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Discussion Home / Parenting / Moms with Grown-Up Children / How do I get my 10 year old OUT OF OUR BED!!!!
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  Moms with Grown-Up Children

lala3369


 
 
How do I get my 10 year old OUT OF OUR BED!!!!
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on Dec 31, 2013 (Read 1334 times | Comments: 11)
I never thought I would have a child in my bed at 10 y/o-really at any age. My son slept in his crib and then toddler bed without any problems. However through a series of events-he moved to my bed and has NEVER left!! We moved back to New Orleans area in July of 2005, in August 2005 my son had a tonsillectomy and tubes inserted-so we let him sleep with us for a few days while he recuperated. Katrina hit a week later and we spent the next 4 months on the road and of course in the same bed!! He has never left. When he has friends over he sleeps in his room, and he sleeps at other peoples houses without problems. Any advice would help. And let me say that is has put a strain on my marriage!!
brendeary
brendeary
on Jan 03, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

Maybe he needs a night light in his room? My youngest is 10 and needs a light on or else she will never go to sleep. Maybe a night light or sound machine would help.
jerseygirl1
jerseygirl1
on Jan 06, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

What happens when you really say "no"? If you really mean the No, and you don't allow him in your bed, what happens? I'm sure it is hard to do that, but if you remember that it is better for all of you in the long run, that might help. It might take a few rough nights of him going back and forth, but you really just have to tell him that it is not allowed. Good thing is that at 10, you should be able to talk to him about it and explain why (before he goes to sleep, of course - the middle of the night is no time for a deep discussion!) Or you can do it gradually, for example, tell him the bed is not allowed but he can sleep on the floor of your room for 1 week and then back to bed. And maybe some small rewards for him staying in his bed (like an extra tv show for staying in his bed one night, or a trip to the movies if he stays in bed a few nights). Good luck! And keep us posted on how it is going.
jellybird
jellybird
on Jan 06, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

ask him why he can sleep in there when he has sleep overs. maybe he doesnt feel safe or secure in his room alone. Ask him what would make it more comfortable for him. also i would explain to him that he is to old to be in the same bed with his parents., unless its a family choice.
TerryDona
TerryDona
on Jan 09, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

Sweetie, it's not in the "natural" order of things for any ten year old to sleep with either a single or married parent(s). If you are having an issue discovering why - always look to WHY you allow it...the child is not the parent and you should start the process of him/her moving on to an independent state. The BEST favor you can do your child is to allow them to explore the World without you, but with proper preparation. Do not allow this for one more day. Simply say no, you must sleep in your own room.
madupers
madupers
on Aug 22, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

Get him excited and go shopping for a new comforter he will pick! Have him take a nap in his "new" bed or have a friend for a sleep over in his "new" bed to celebrate. You husband and you have to agree that starting from that day forward, he has to stay out of your bedroom. You can also get a new book and encourage him to do his homework there so he will start liking his "privacy" and will start appreciate the fact that he can listen to his kind of music... If he starts spending time in his room he will want to spend more time in it - including the night. You can pick a date together, some kind of a deadline you all agree on that he is now a young man and will have to sleep in his room like all of his friends and relatives. I hope these suggestions will help.
pmpyzia56
pmpyzia56
on Aug 25, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »
Originally posted by madupers » 
Get him excited and go shopping for a new comforter he will pick! Have him take a nap in his "new" bed or have a friend for a sleep over in his "new" bed to celebrate. You husband and you have to agree that starting from that day forward, he has to stay out of your bedroom. You can also get a new book and encourage him to do his homework there so he will start liking his "privacy" and will start appreciate the fact that he can listen to his kind of music... If he starts spending time in his room he will want to spend more time in it - including the night. You can pick a date together, some kind of a deadline you all agree on that he is now a young man and will have to sleep in his room like all of his friends and relatives. I hope these suggestions will help.

I seriously agree.. at 10 yrs old boys should be in their own bed.. as others have suggested? find out why he dont want to sleep in his own bed while hes home.. you and your husband need to tell him hes old enough to be in his own bed..
kandrews82
kandrews82
on Aug 26, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

I would definitely try a night light. I didn't have my girls in my room for very long, but what helped for me was getting one of this night light pillow pets. They both really seemed to love snuggling with their little pal (they picked out), and it made them think it was a reward for being a "big kid". You could try that, but honestly, the first few nights are going to be the hardest. You have to just let them cry it out a bit (as hard as that is). Once they understand they must sleep in their own bed, regardless of age, kids are adaptable.
someday
someday
on Aug 27, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

I would try to explain to him that he is getting to be a big boy and needs to sleep in a big boy bed by himself and I agree with getting him a night light and keep his room door open. Ask him if any of his friends sleep in their parents bed - and he will probably say NO and tell him that he needs to start sleeping in his own bed.
cnhb96
cnhb96
on Aug 28, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

Try laying with them in their bed till they fall asleep and then go to your bed. If they wake up in the middle of the night, simply say, " i know you can't sleep well but you can't sleep in my bed either". Then go lay with them again till they fall back asleep. Its like bottle breaking again. You may be up and down alot at night but after a few times, they will know they can't get in your bed anymore.
tjbriccio
tjbriccio
on Aug 29, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

I feel your pain! I was in the exact same situation with my son. He was really sick as a toddler and some how the years flew by and there he was, 10 yrs old, taking up my whole bed! Husband on the couch most days.....not a very happy place. Well, if I'm honest with myself, I didn't mind so much, but I knew it was better for his growth for him to be in his own room. I started out with him sleeping on a futon chair I have in my bedroom and then transitioned it to him sleeping in his own room. I'm not gonna lie to you.....it took a LONG time for him to adjust to sleeping through the night in his own bed. But don't worry, he just turned 13 and he hasn't spent a day in my room since he was 10. You just have to be consistent and strong.
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