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jjsurvey52


 
 
No Babies
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on Oct 16, 2010 (Read 51620 times | Comments: 22)
This is just a little vent. I'm 28 years old and just got married. My husband and I have been together for a total of 9 years. Everyone always asks us when we're going to have kids and both of us always reply "Never". We really have no interest in taking care of a child. Not to mention, we love to travel and still have many places that we'd like to go. We are very active and like to go out all the time. We just couldn't imagine being on someone else's schedule. Why does everyone always make you seem like you're a terrible, selfish, crazy person for not being totally in love with children??
Jessiebobessy
Jessiebobessy
on Mar 23, 2011 Quote  »     Reply  »

i think not having children when you don't want them is actually a very UNselfish thing to do. I always say if you don't want kids, for the love of God PLEASE don't have them! There are already enough unwanted children in the world. I'm sure you wouldn't be a negletful parent. but why bring a child into the world just to appease other people? i wish I had a snappy comeback for you to use, but i don't :(. Just know not everyone feels that way!
lilmommaof3
lilmommaof3
on Mar 29, 2011 Quote  »     Reply  »

I would think of a snarky comment to throw back at them when it was said, sorry nothing comes to mind right now, and for me it would probably depend on the person that said it.. ie, oh little sister why don't you want to have any kids? Answer: Because your children are enough for us all, thank you very much! (Would totally say that to my older sister with 2 totally unruly kids!) Have fun thinking up fun one liners!!
DealsFromMSDo
DealsFromMSDo
on Apr 15, 2011 Quote  »     Reply  »

Good for you! If you don't want children, it's great that you are upfront about your feelings. I'm glad that people have become comfortable enough NOT to have children when they really don't want them versus in yesteryear when people had children just because they were expected to.
Dragin440
Dragin440
on Dec 10, 2011 Quote  »     Reply  »

Better to be honest with yourselves and not if you don't want them. THEY ARE A BIG RESPONSIBILITY!!!! I have three, which are grown, but if I knew all what it entailed I would not have had one. I have a relative that is a doctor and didn't have any, she said to much responsibility, so she has dogs. Enjoy your life, kids are not for everyone as you can see around you! I do have to say one thing, they can be helpful when you get old, maybe! Enjoy being childless and each other for me too!!! :-)
f1focus
f1focus
on Dec 14, 2011 Quote  »     Reply  »

We always replied in a few years because we really didn't know if we wanted them or not. But when it came down to do or die time, we both decided we liked our family just the way it is. Just us, the kitties, the travel, the this old house continual renovations, etc. Children didn't fit it what we already thought was perfect in everyway. There is no void that needs to be filled. I don't want them. He doesn't want them. They are a huge money sucking responsiblility which would upset every aspect of our life together that we really enjoy. What I really hate is people who ask who is going to take care of you when you are old. I always say that my other childless friends who will be joining us in traveling the world will take me to the doctor at the next port of call.
Hockeygem17
Hockeygem17
on Jan 16, 2012 Quote  »     Reply  »

I don't understand the shock in this day in age for people to be child free by choice. I think having children is obviously a personal choice and none of anyone's business. My friend and her husband were trying for awhile and she had endometriosis, a coworker at work harassed her so much about having kids that one day she burst into tears and revealed that they had been trying for years and due to the endometriosis were having a tough time, nobody should feel so much pressure from anyone that they have to reveal personal details to get people to back off. I think simply stating that your husband and you are child free by choice is enough of an answer, if someone digs I would then question them as to why they need you to have a baby so badly?
Luluds17
Luluds17
on Jan 16, 2012 Quote  »     Reply  »

I share your aggravation. I'm 38 and have been asked for years (including when not even dating someone) when I'm having kids. It is pressuring to constantly be asked and makes me feel like there's something wrong that I haven't. It hurt me to be badgerd about kids and how good a mom people think I'd be. At one time I did want children, but as I got older & a few relationships that didn't work out, my time ran out. I have some health issues that pose it challenging for me to have children as well and I don't want to go to extreme measures to try. The questions really rubbed salt in an already sensitive wound that I was coming to terms with. I finally started saying I didn't want kids in my late 20s, then in my 30s I finally started telling people I didn't think I could. Finally, after that, people felt bad for asking & learned some tact. There's nothing wrong with not having kids. I'm able to say now that, it is nice to enjoy other's kids and give them back when you want!
Seattlemeg
Seattlemeg
on Jan 31, 2012 Quote  »     Reply  »

I'll be 42 in a few months. I have know ever since I was little that I have no desire whatsoever to be pregnant, give birth, or raise a child. Yet it took me until the age of 35 to find a combo of both insurance that would cover it and a doctor willing to do it to get my tubes tied. Even then, it was the typical questions they have to ask... "You know this is pretty much permanent?" "Do you ever see yourself changing your mind?" Yes, duh, and never. I've never understood how it's considered selfish to know your own limits and not bring another person into this world when you really don't want them. The best response I've ever given to the whole "you'll regret it/you're missing out" argument is along the lines of "And think how much worse off the kid would be if I had one and regretted THAT."
sonsa505
sonsa505
on Mar 12, 2013 Quote  »     Reply  »

Honestly, my fiance and i are convinced we're "broken". My sister cannot have children. She had a hysterectomy at the age of 27. My fiance's family is VERY VERY fertile. Maybe it's not our time yet. Also my brother and my sister in law had my nephew Andrew when they were in their late 30's. I agree with the both of you and you should definitely take your time and do what you want while you can. From what i've seen children change everything, and if you don't want to have any, that's your choice. There's no RULE saying you have to have children. My fiance and i are happy with what God gives us. If he wants us to be parents, then we're elated, and if we never get pregnant, then so be it.
ReinRamm
ReinRamm
on Mar 19, 2013 Quote  »     Reply  »

People do not ask us this anymore, as my husband and I have been married for so long that they figured that now there is no possible way. But when we were newlyweds, we used to get that question a lot from people who, I suspect, just said it to have a conversation, really. When asked that question, my husband and I would always said "NEVER" with such a wide, toothy smile and such happiness and glee in our tone, in our eyes, and in our face that no one dared suggest otherwise, for to do so would imply mean wishing unhappiness upon us. I have never, ever wanted children and neither has my husband. .
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