I'm Going Crazy! Do I Really Want More?

By inspiringgaia Jun 14, 2012

Being a mother has helped me become more aware of who I am and who I strive to be in the eyes of my children. I never thought I would be a mother until I had my first paying job. I was a babysitter for my neighbor and I loved it even though I didn't have my weekends off. I got paid every 2 weeks and it saddened me when they no longer needed my services. At 16 I was caring for an infant (0-3 months) and a 3 year old. Its funny because I occasionally see the kids and its just a shock at how big they are. :)

Now that I'm a mother, seeing the transition in each child has me astounded and quite sad. Seeing your beautiful children grow up and the little milestones that you weren't prepared for has you in tears, frustrated, and in joy all at the same time.

I still expect my daily kisses, conversations, and laughs that happen throughout the day. I cherish each moment I have with my children because each moment also reminds me that they're not going to stay small anymore. They eventually will become adults and have their own children, their dreams and aspirations.

Allowing each of my children the power to think and choose for themselves makes me feel as though I am doing my part. My job is only to guide them and when they need help with a lesson or experience to give them the wisdom of how I dealt with it.

As a parent, you want the best for your children, as well as, for them to turn out better than you. I never grasped that concept until I had my own children and even then I just want them to treat others with respect and love, live their dreams, give out a helping hand if you have it to give, and always know that I will be there for them no matter which path they choose to walk down.

The best gift they can give me is to look forward to each birthday and capture the smiles, innocence, and love that each of my children has brought into my life. To see the small changes each day as they grow older and shape into the person they were meant to be. Having children is a blessing and a lesson all in one. Each lesson may seem like a horrible experience, but once the storm is over you see the blessing in the moment. I am truly blessed to be chosen to be a mother to 4 beautiful children. I can't imagine not being a mom.

I wouldn't trade in any moment that I had with my children. As much as having food allergies, asthma, acid-reflex, etc has taken over my life. I still wouldn't want my children to be any different, I probably wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have so many restrictions. As a young mother (had my oldest when I was 18), its a good thing that I have so many restrictions and health responsibilities. It made me aware of how delicate children are and that cherishing each moment is a lifetime of presents worth more than any other material gift I could receive.