WORK WITH US
SheSpeaks
LOGIN JOIN NOW
WORK WITH US
LOGIN JOIN NOW
Discussion Home / Relationships / Relationship Help / single mom/ help!
Discussion Forums
Categories
Beauty & Fashion
Money
Parenting
Relationships
Entertainment
Food
Introductions
Lets Do Some Good
Living
Hobbies
Womens Lifestages
Bloggers
  Relationship Help

kinine90


 
 
single mom/ help!
 Post reply image
on May 04, 2015 (Read 1217 times | Comments: 9)
So I'm a single mom of a two year old little guy! Such a blast! I'm 24, a full time student during the week and a bartender on the weekends. My guy friends say in single because I'm intimidating.. They say its because I'm very to the point, hard working, self sufficient, and focused on what I want for my son. Advice..? What's so wrong with me?
mariedmandi
mariedmandi
on May 05, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

Yeah I can help with this one LOL Men are very timid and fragile. There man pride gets hurt very easily. It's not exactly a bad thing either. Look at it this way. Most men have been brought up and have the drive and pride to be able to take care of their lady. Emotionally, physically, and especially financially. That's just the way they are built. They need to feel NEEDED. So here you come along.... very self sufficient and financially ready to go. Men meet you and feel there's nothing they can offer you. Because you don't NEED them. If you come across very dominating and forceful ...meaning a leader type personality..... that's also a turn off for most men. So when men meet you, of course their intimidated! What man wouldn't be! It could also be that you have a son.... that also can be very scary for a man in his mid to late 20's that don't have children. Maybe tone yourself done a bit on the first 4 dates or so. Don't talk so much about yourself and how proud you....
mariedmandi
mariedmandi
on May 05, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

are of your accomplishments. Save that for date 5 ;) Try to make them feel like they are in charge in needed. Not to be confused with you being needy LOL Good luck!
bonita7878
bonita7878
on May 06, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

Single mom with 9 yr old twins and a soon to be 6 yr old plus a full-time job and no help whatsoever from any external entities besides my daycare provider. Same boat - the Alpha. I can work on mechanics, electronics, cook, garden, fix pretty much anything, etc. I have no time for a man who thinks I cannot take care of a single thing in life ~ boiling it down a bit I know. I end up feeling like I am babysitting him too - not my thing so, good bye. My kids come first in the end which is also a "put off" for men. Hey, if they don't want to help then oh well - I will survive because I already have. I was in the military for 11 years prior to having kids so, yeah, that doesn't help me either. I just want a person who is on the same playing field as I am ~ very hard to come by however; I am not looking due to my schedule. Keep doing what you are doing if it makes you happy! There is nothing wrong with you and do not let others think there is. Are you different? Yes! We all are!
JennMcK
JennMcK
on Jul 14, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

I love these responses! I am also a single mom. My son just turned 1 last week (I cannot believe it!). I am 28, have a great job, a BS degree, a house, etc. I was recently dating a guy, not really long distance but like 1.5 hours away which was perfect for me. Things were going GREAT! And then all of a sudden one night he decides he just cannot balance work and a relationship. He had a doctorate in cellular biology so he was successful and highly intelligent all on his own. He said he couldn't give me 100% like I deserved and didn't want to get any more involved. It was completely out of nowhere. I don't get it but it really makes me NOT want to date. Ugh. Good luck!
DaniDreamGirl
DaniDreamGirl
on Nov 03, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

I'm really late replying to this, but I just joined not too long ago. Anyway, there is nothing wrong with you. I was a single mother of 2 boys 4 years apart. Even before I had my children guys I went to school with told me that I was hard to approach because I was so independent, driven, determined etc. I heard the same thing after I had my children and I still refused to change. I'm currently in a relationship of 5 years. Don't let a few people have you think that you're single because of who you are. Just look at it this way, all men aren't truly men. It takes a real man to not be intimidated by, respect and love the amazing woman you are. The right one will come if he hasn't already. Don't be frustrated, just be patient. Your future husband is out there somewhere. :-)
mochsner
mochsner
on Feb 19, 2016 Quote  »     Reply  »

I'm also late to this topic from just joining but as a single mom of three teenagers that is also alpha - I say be who you are! If the man can't handle you being alpha today, he won't be able to adjust when you turn alpha later. It's part of who you became to survive. The real you is never something you should hide. I guess the true question to ask yourself is are you currently happy? Granted, life may not be perfect, you may want that person to cuddle up to at night, but are you happy? I ask this because I recently found a man in my life that I believe is going to stick. I told him up front - "I don't need you to fix me, my kids will always come first so you'll never win against them, and I'm pretty damn stubborn when it comes to how my life is put together. Now I have room for you and would love to see where this goes, but I'm not going to try and change you so I don't expect you to change me." I was happy before him and happy now so it works.
Hannahp101
Hannahp101
on May 25, 2018 Quote  »     Reply  »

Nothing is wrong with you. You just need to find a man that respects your hard work and driven focus! Besides being in a relationship, we have some similarities. I have a son that will be 2 years old on June 11 and I'm 23 years old. I feel like I'm hard working and driven and I have been told before that I can be intimidating (especially when I focus at the gym). Anyways, don't change yourself whatsoever. Maybe the best tip I can give is either being the first to make a move. That may sound scary, but I think you would seem less intimidating to guys if you flirted first. Or maybe try online dating since they can see what your goals and strengths are in a profile first and come to you based on what they want in a girl. But again, the last thing you want to do is change what you stand for. Women should be smart, focused, hard working, and independent. Being with a man is not depending on him, it is finding an equal partner in crime.
Jenaemata
Jenaemata
on May 27, 2018 Quote  »     Reply  »

Nothing is wrong with you! You just have your prioritys set. It's good to know that you know where you want to be in life.
saeywhat
saeywhat
on Jun 07, 2018 Quote  »     Reply  »

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Men don't know how to take a woman who speaks her mind. It is intimidating to them. Keep your head up, don't let your friends cloud your judgment, and always trust what your gut is telling you. If a guy is intimidated by you, then chances are he wasn't right for you to begin with. Congrats on going to school and being a single mom. I was also around your age when I was doing the same and its hard. Focus on school and your boy and the rest will fall into place.