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jjsurvey52


 
 
No Babies
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on Oct 16, 2010 (Read 51594 times | Comments: 22)
This is just a little vent. I'm 28 years old and just got married. My husband and I have been together for a total of 9 years. Everyone always asks us when we're going to have kids and both of us always reply "Never". We really have no interest in taking care of a child. Not to mention, we love to travel and still have many places that we'd like to go. We are very active and like to go out all the time. We just couldn't imagine being on someone else's schedule. Why does everyone always make you seem like you're a terrible, selfish, crazy person for not being totally in love with children??
emme313
emme313
on Oct 18, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

I think its rude for people to ask regardless, its such a personal choice. I went through fertility and would cringe when somone would ask us "what we were waiting for". I dont think its selfish at all to not have kids. I have 3 children who I enjoy very much. My brother and his wife go through the same thing; they got a dog recently so that is usually their comeback line. We dont plan to have kids we have a 60 pound baby named chopper! You know some people, ones who know you may ask only becasue they love being parents and they want that for you, or they would love to have a new cute baby around that they dont have to take care of (we love that!). But they should understand and not asking, as for other people. I feel bad that you have to explain and try to justify yourself to somone who is really being sort of rude asking a personal question. I know a couple who cant have children, people whould realize they could be asking someone like that and not know it.
texas61
texas61
on Oct 18, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

I have a daughter that can not have kids. That was ok with her and her husband. They had dogs and cats. Now they are going through a divorce. Thank God they did not have kids.
CrystalBurgard
CrystalBurgard
on Oct 24, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

Having a child is a personal choice and not one that everyone needs to partake. If you really dont want children, then I say kudos to you for making that choice and sticking with it. I have a friend in her 40s who chose not to have kids and she couldnt be happier. Its not for everyone. Pets are a good way to fill the void without the same type of commitment that a kid requires. Having kids is tough, especially these days. No kids means you are free to live your life on your own schedule , spend your money on whatever you want and to just be childless you. Not everyone enjoys children, heck I have kids and I dont always enjoy them, lol. If you dont feel like something is missing from your life, then people should respect that.
Groovyduo
Groovyduo
on Oct 29, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

It took seven years of marriage for people to stop asking us that question. I didn't take it as them being rude. It's just the natural progression to some after people marry, like the expectation that someone graduating college will start hunting for a job. Granted, knowing that didn't stop it from being annoying to be asked so often. Sometimes I'd comeback with, "Why, are you volunteering to babysit?" Ultimately, we just said, "Not now." No matter how you both feel now, your feelings about children may change in the future. And that's okay. It's your business and prerogative. Flash forward and the same question is popping up again. We've been married almost 19 years. Obviously we married young. I think me getting closer to the age where the biological clock is ticking louder is why the question surfaced again. Most tack on what great parents we'd make. I take it as a compliment and move on.
gretchenflys
gretchenflys
on Nov 29, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

We had no kids and we are happy as little clams! We have even had people ask our parents "if we regretted being selfish in not having kids." I guess there is a reason they did not ask us! Haha! I say, make sure you are happy and fulfilled!
aburgstede
aburgstede
on Nov 29, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

AMEN!!! I'm 31, husband is 32 and we don't have kids either. We have our 4 dogs and we are very happy the way we are. I gave my mom a little pillow one year that said "Let me get this straight, my grandchild is a dog?". Yup. We like to travel, well would like to travel more, my mom watches our dogs when we go places and I feel guilty going places because I feel like I should be spending more time with the "kids" (the dogs). I get sick of heaing "when are you having kids" "why not". I wish I knew more couples in our area without kids, our age, that we could go out with and have a good time...because it seems they almost all have kids...and then it seems like almost all conversations and topics then revolve around their kids. Ok, yes, I'm a dog nut, but I can hold a conversation that doesn't revolve around my dogs. Really, I can.
sneepy
sneepy
on Nov 30, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

I bet those were the same people who hounded you for all 9 years that you dated with "When are you going to get married?" then didn't bother to send a gift when you did. You sound identical to me only I am 31. Enjoy being newlyweds! Go to disneyworld, new york, focus on what yall enjoy and ignore those nosey butts. You have to live your life for you and do what makes you happy.
AlinaW
AlinaW
on Dec 26, 2010 Quote  »     Reply  »

It's not like there aren't plenty of other people having kids. Overpopulation is a serious problem. If someone asks you "when" you are going to have kids, they are obviously not a close friend. I think the best answer is something like, "no plans". But, if they keep asking you, then they obviously don't want to know you better or think they should be running your life. Just ignore those people. They're jerks. :)
natikaal
natikaal
on Mar 20, 2011 Quote  »     Reply  »

Okay, reading the other posts.. I don't think people are necessarily being rude.. I wonder if my older brother will have kids, I would like happiness for him. But, if he decides not... God didn't all make us alike, or want the same things for a reason. I think if you just got married (Congratulations) people are only asking in curiosity of the next step. You really do miss out on one of life's wonders not having kids, but then again... I have missed out on many things having kids. So, it's a trade-off. And, if you think you'll be missing more by having them than not, who's anyone else to judge. Besides, there's no rule saying you even have to write it in stone right now. Have fun on your travels, and when people ask- keep in mind, although I doubt I would change my life for the world, there's at least one parent out here wondering, what would my life have been? Would I have been better for it?
kswms2003
kswms2003
on Mar 23, 2011 Quote  »     Reply  »

I would say, if you do not want children that is your preference. Let what people say go in one ear and out the other. I have one child and people asked me would I have another and I said no. I am looking to live life. I am 36 and my daughter is 15 and will be 16 in June 2011 and in three years she is grown and on her own. When people ask me about having children, I say this, "Do you have a billion dollars to give me to have a baby?" When they say, "NO" then I say, "Then do not ask me about having children if you don't have the funds to help take care of one." That stops alot of "baby" conversation. Be free as you like without children. I have 2 sisters and neither one of them have children. At one time I did want a niece or a nephew, but that isn't important. If it happens it is the will of the creator. Live your Life!
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