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Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

SheSpeaksTeam By SheSpeaksTeam 07.10.19
Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card
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"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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  • csilva By csilva
    07.10.19  

    100% no technology at the table!

  • delectable79 By delectable79
    07.10.19  

    I agree with the answers to these questions. Especially regarding cell phones at the dinner table.

  • Hywelda9 By Hywelda9
    07.10.19  

    A dear friend of mine from Chattanooga, Tennessee, used to say that all good manners were meant to be kind and thoughtful of others, and that is truly what should be the impetus behind our actions, not some hard-and-fast rules that may be outdated - life does move on!

  • Proudmama92 By Proudmama92
    07.10.19  

    I don?t believe that thank you notes are necessary, it?s more of a way to say you appreciate them & what they do, basically it?s just respectful. Do they have to be handwritten? Absolutely not. They will always be appreciated regardless of the format. My question would be: Is it better to handout party favors at kids birthday parties or do you think it really doesn?t make a difference? I always try too but sometimes it doesn?t fit within my budget.

  • avantidc By avantidc
    07.10.19  

    Agree with all of this! Hoping my kids follow our example, too :)

  • tara1sh By tara1sh
    07.10.19  

    Thank you notes are great to receive but I?m ok with a thank you text instead of mailing a note. I?m old school and do not like cell phones at dinner or even at lunch if I?m with friends or family. It is a small amount of time that should be devoted to who your with and not focusing on the phone.

  • lilang By lilang
    07.10.19  

    Leftovers are never an issue with my family.

  • camillawilson By camillawilson
    07.10.19  

    No phones at the dinner table.

  • obeezer By obeezer
    07.10.19  

    I agree with #5, especially. Thank you notes always are required. If you are with someone in person, you say 'thank you' in person, then follow up with a quick text to again say thank you. If someone sends you flowers, chocolate, baby shower gifts, bridal shower gifts wedding gifts, you ALWAYS mail a thank you card.

  • angellen00 By angellen00
    07.10.19  

    I agree with these rules. Less phone text and more conversation

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