Modern Etiquette: What Rules Still Exist? Tell us your thoughts to win a $75 Amazon gift card

    by   SheSpeaksTeam   

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Jul 10, 2019
438

"Dear Abby" was one of the original syndicated advice columns, appearing in over 1,200 newspapers and read by over 95 million people. Times have certainly changed since "Dear Abby" launched in 1956, but we are curious: are there still rules for common etiquette? And if so, what are they?

In the past few weeks, 5 burning questions have come up within the SheSpeaks Team. After much discussion, here are our best answers. Do you agree? Tell us what you think and you'll be entered to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

Are there any questions you'd love the answers to? Submit them and we'll include some of our favorites as future polls on our website!

Q 1. If you bring a dish to a get-together, is it appropriate to bring home the leftovers?

Not usually. Leftovers should be left for the host to enjoy. However, if there are a ton of leftovers and the host is truly insisting you take it, then take it. It's certainly not worth fighting over.

2. Is it rude to leave your cell phone on the table when dining with friends?

Yes, it's rude, but sometimes it has to be done. For example, if you are out without your kids, then it's ok to keep the phone out in case there is any issue at home. But don't take any calls or texts unless they are truly important. It's not fun to be at dinner with someone who cares more about their device than you.

3. If a single person is going in on a present with a couple who is married or dating, does the single person pay 50% and the couple pay 50% or does each individual person pay one-third?

If everyone knows the recipient equally, than everyone pays equally. But if the partner in the couple doesn't know the recipient and is really just a guest, then 50-50 might be ok. Make sure to talk about it with each other before assuming the amount.

4. How do you get out of an annoying group text conversation without insulting everyone in it?

No one wants to hear constant phone beeping when they're not interested in the chat. If there's a chance that the discussion will end soon, then just silence your phone and ignore it. But if it looks like this chain might be permanent, then it's ok to beg out. Best to send a light-hearted text, something like, "Hey all, love this group but need to get away from the phone and actually pay attention to my children! Can you remove me from the chat? Thx!"

5. Are thank you notes necessary? Do they always have to be hand-written?

Everyone appreciates a thank-you but there are varying degrees of how it needs to be said. If your friend buys you a drink for your bithday, sending a thank-you text afterwards is perfect. But if you receive more meaningful gifts, like at your wedding, graduation party or baby shower, than, yes, we still believe that hand-written notes are ideal. Email is ok for informal events if it is truly personalized. If someone spent time picking out a thoughtful (or expensive) gift for your new baby, they deserve something more than a group email saying, "Thanks for coming to my shower! Loved your gift!" 

What do you think? What questions do you have? Enter for the chance to win a $75 Amazon gift card!

#SheSpeaksEtiquette Giveaway

*One lucky contestant will be chosen at random to receive a $75 Amazon gift card. Giveaway is open through July 28th, 2019 to U.S. residents at least 18 years of age. Entrants must be a member of SheSpeaks. If you are not a member, click here to join. Winner will be notified by email.

Update: Thanks to all who entered! Congrats to our winner, SheSpeaks member beaniebaby70.

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Comments
by Jackie9641 | GRAYSLAKE, IL
Jul 15, 2019

I agree with everything. Too bad it's not common sense or ingrained!

by sweetnsalty | Plano, TX
Jul 15, 2019

Wow love these tips!!

by sam1219 | COATESVILLE, PA
Jul 15, 2019

I am very traditional. I agree with all of these answers.

by Shion97 | CHICAGO, IL
Jul 14, 2019

I do agree with all these things.

by Laura9 | RUSK, TX
Jul 14, 2019

I agree with ALL of these! Great advice on etiquette.

by susitravl | Wichita, KS
Jul 14, 2019

In this age of instant gratification and entitlement (UGH), thank yous are going by the wayside. Verbal or written. I'm often disappointed that people don't even acknowledge gifts or kindnesses. It won't keep me from giving, but it still makes me sad.

by rubydreamer | ALBURTIS, PA
Jul 14, 2019

A hand written thank you note ALWAYS. And, I detest cell phones on the table, or in ones hand during any meal.

by lughead13 | SCHWENKSVILLE, PA
Jul 14, 2019

I am old-school, and was trained well by my Nonna - a yes to all of those things!

by TheMaven | PELHAM, AL
Jul 14, 2019

Sadly, etiquette is becoming obsolete.

by malahini | BIRMINGHAM, MI
Jul 14, 2019

I'm going to show my age (hee! hee!), but I believe in handwritten thank you notes. It's makes it more personal when you hand write your thoughts.

by catnip1222 | ROCKY FACE, GA
Jul 14, 2019

I wish parents would control their kids' cell phone use and behavior better. It is hard for me to tell mine that phones are not allowed at the table, on the car ride, etc. when every other child has theirs out every 2 seconds taking pictures, watching youtube videos, etc.

by jerylt | ABERDEEN, NJ
Jul 14, 2019

I agree hand written notes are necessary for more meaningful gifts.

by cowlady2 | DELAND, FL
Jul 13, 2019

Hand written notes are very special these days since so few people write anymore. A personal note is like receiving a second gift.

by drimeth | Tolland, CT
Jul 13, 2019

I'm ok with having a phone out, but I agree with the others

by anytablake | LOMPOC, CA
Jul 13, 2019

Some of the etiquette is still followed depending on what circle of friends you are in. Within the family, we all have phones and they may be at the table but we have genuine conversation and enjoy each others company while enjoying the meal. The phones go untouched til at least desert unless an emergency arises. And sometimes, we will facetime a family member who couldn't attend so we can all say hello and visit with them too.

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