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It's a ???: Parents Decide To Keep Their Child's Gender a Secret

SS Member Image By drodriguez 10.17.11
It's a ???: Parents Decide To Keep Their Child's Gender a Secret
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No matter how far it seems we’ve come as a culture in erasing gender stereotypes, many little girls still dress in head-to-toe pink while baby boys often wear every shade of blue. One Toronto couple decided early on that their third child would not be defined by any one color...or gender.

Kathy Witterick and David Stocker, are raising their baby, named Storm Stocker, “genderless” for the time being (with only the child’s two older brothers and one close family friend knowing whether the baby is a he or she). A recent Parent Central report discusses the couple’s less than ordinary decision to keep their new baby’s gender a secret.

Mom and dad sent out this announcement to friends and family when their little one was born; “We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime.”

The couple has said that they are hopeful they have given Storm some time to decide for him or herself which gender feels right before declaring it to the public. Witterick explains, “We thought that if we delayed sharing that information, in this case hopefully, we might knock off a couple million of those messages by the time that Storm decides Storm would like to share.”

Though Witterick and Stocker told family and friends about the gender of their first two sons at birth, they have taken measures to keep them free of gender stereotypes as well. Both children are allowed to choose clothing from the boys or girls section of the store. Oldest son, Jazz, often wears pink dresses and paints his nails.

Jazz is now of school age, but chose to stay home last year. Witterick explains how the process of visiting schools was difficult because of the way her son has chosen to dress. She says, “When we would go and visit programs, people — children and adults — would immediately react with Jazz over his gender.”

What do you think of this couple’s decision to keep their baby’s gender a secret?

Do you feel what they are doing will help their child avoid messages of gender stereotypes?

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  • melissawoodc By melissawoodc
    11.10.11  

    They are using their child to make a statement. Let the kid be a kid and not a soap box for them to stand on! It's ok to be a boy, it's ok to be a girl. It's ok for a kid to grow up and be ok with the gender he/she was born with. I know in today's society that's not cool or trendy but it's true.

  • Bryelee By Bryelee
    11.04.11  

    I don't see what the big deal is. I just don't get why they are keeping the gender a secret. . If their family and friends know then it's not a secret is it? I don't think people really care and they are causing drama.

  • Chicago By Chicago
    11.02.11  

    Tell me what the matter is with being identified as a boy or as a girl.... these people are not doing their children any favors. These parents are mentally abusing their children. Poor kids.

  • nkward By nkward
    11.02.11  

    this makes no sense to me...

  • francieg By francieg
    10.30.11  

    i think they are doing their child a major disservice.... and have set themselves up in a situation where their child will probably grow up resenting his parents!!!

  • hscottage By hscottage
    10.29.11  

    They are going to cause their child to be exactly what they don't, be an outcast. They could be setting this child up for bullying which is going to make him or her depressed. Sad. I bet their sons don't run off to the girls section to buy dresses, or they would be picked on at school for sure.

  • sharman421 By sharman421
    10.28.11  

    Blithering Buffoons! I'm just saying! They are not discouraging stereotypes; they are encouraging weirdos. Do they really get a kick out of their offspring being cruelly teased or ridiculed. Hey, kids are cruel! Let's face it. and the names! Jazz and Storm? Really? Poor kids. I feel sorry for them. Their pseudo-scientific parents are unqualified to do this social experiment.

  • Chandeliere By Chandeliere
    10.20.11  

    Wow this is really sad. The older child is already labeled and can't even attend school, now this poor baby will spend his ungendered life explaining why this came about. For someone who didn't want their child stereotyped this couple labeled him as an oddity right off the bat. I'm afraid the poor thing will go through a very painful life. Sounds to me like the parents are looking for notoriety without regard for their child.

  • chriscl73 By chriscl73
    10.20.11  

    What don't understand it, it's either Girl or Boy...

  • adie1221 By adie1221
    10.19.11  

    I think it is over the top. I can understand they want their child to decide what they want and such but you need to raise the child like its gender. There are different ways to raise each gender. Not to mention, to keep your family out of the loop, that is depriving them of their relative. I think its wrong.

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