SHESPEAKS Your Power to Influence

Early Twenties Too Young To Say 'I Do'?

SS Member Image By drodriguez 09.30.11
Early Twenties Too Young To Say 'I Do'?
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A recent SheSpeaks poll reveals that almost 60% of our members think that between the ages of 25 and 29 is the perfect time for nuptials. Only about 11% feel 18 to 24 year olds should be planning a wedding and there may be a good reason for this.

Though there is no magic number for when you should tie the knot, research does show that your marriage has a better chance of surviving if you wait to make that commitment until you are in your mid-twenties or later. The fact that many women have already been through college by the time they turn 25 could have something to do with marriage success.

A Cosmopolitan magazine report points out some research that reveals women with more education usually have more lasting relationships than women who have received less schooling. Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great, reveals why women who already have college degrees fare better in marriages. Orbuch says, “Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn’t meet their standards”

Just the fact that we are a little older and wiser once we reach our mid-twenties probably has a lot to do with a lasting marriage too. By the time most women reach 25 they know who they are and have enough dating experience to know who would make the best long term partner.

What age do you think is the right time to get married?

Why do you think people who marry at 25 or older have a better chance of staying together?


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  • jannadavis By jannadavis

    Honestly, I feel as though this can swing both ways. I could make arguments for both sides. I think it depends on your values, maturity, and the type of relationship you have with the other person. I don't think that anyone could paint all early marriages with a broad brush and say "Its not a good idea," I would say they are delusional if they tried. I think that if one thinks that they are ready for marriage, and do everything they can to prepare themselves for that commitment, then by all means, go ahead. But if you have any sort of doubt or hesitation, might as well wait, you have plenty of time to spare.

  • blondemonstersmommy By blondemonstersmommy

    I was ready for marriage at 22. My ex-husband, at 27, wasn't. I have an 18 year old bf who is very mature beyond his years, and we both feel like he could handle such a big thing as marriage. I believe it's all about the person you are in a relationship with.

  • pharmgirl101 By pharmgirl101

    I don't think so at all! I was 21 when I got married and ive never been happier! People are mature enough at different ages. There is no set age when your old enough.

  • njhousewife247 By njhousewife247

    For some this may be true... but for me, it's so far from the truth! My (quick) story: 1999-ish I dropped out of high school. Fast forward a couple years to August 2003 when I met Marvin. May 2004 our son was born. August 2004 he proposed. November 2004 there we were at City Hall exchanging our vows (he was 21... I was 19). Almost 7 years later and we're still happily married! We are just as much in love, if not more, and couldn't imagine our lives without each other. I know quiet a few couples who graduated college, got married after 25 and are now divorced after a few years (if that). It doesn't matter how educated you are or your age, whether it be 19 or 29! If you're mature enough, you know when it's right and make things work because you love each other.

  • Preppygirlsc By Preppygirlsc

    Here's the thing, I was fairly mature even in my early 20's, but if you could put all that I THOUGHT I knew in to a thimble it wouldn't be half full. There is so much growing to do before you are 25. Things that you think, change rapidly with experience and in this day and age of so many experiences to have & to share that waiting until 25 on is best for all parties :)

  • PunkyNVS By PunkyNVS

    I was also married young. I was 22 and my husband 23. We will soon celebrate our 8 year anniversary. I'm not saying that it has been easy. Not at all! But when you love each other enough, you make it work. We just bought a new house and have a 2 year old daughter and I couldn't be happier. You just know when the time is right. You both have to be mature enough for the marriage. I personally know 40 year olds who I don't think are mature enough to be married. I don't think you can put an actual age because everyone's maturity level is different. Each situation is completely unique.

  • msfriendly By msfriendly

    I married when I was 23 years old....and we've been married for 28 years now! I think if you are a mature young twenty-something, than it doesn't matter. BUT you have to be in the mindset to really commit and WORK at your marriage. So many people take the attitude that if it doesn't work, we'll just divorce...those are the people who should not be getting married!

  • fishersonia By fishersonia

    Marriage is for when you are ready.Ready for forever and honestly ready for "for better or worse" (oh dear, because we know there can be worse!). Personally, I married at 21. We celebrated our 5 year and have a 2 year old son. Though we have had our ups and downs, we are still together and happy. In all, I love the fact that we did start dating at 19 and were married "young", as most people tell us. For us, it was the right thing to do. We wanted to buy a house, have children and retire young in order to THEN live our lives with the love of little grandkids around us. :) Crazy plan for a 21 year old? Yes, I agree now that I am 26. But for us...we were committed and we discussed that the word "divorce" was not in our book and that we would both give each other the common decency to tell one another if we were slipping, no matter how hard it was to speak of. I am proud to tell my kids on day that mama and dada were in it for the long haul and I pray they are able to do the same.

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