When Neighbors Demand Quiet From Your Kids

   By drodriguez  Sep 15, 2011
28

If you live in an apartment building or in close proximity to neighbors, keeping the kids from disturbing the peace can be quite a challenge. You can teach them all about “their inside voice”, but this doesn’t mean a baby won’t cry at 2 am or a toddler won’t throw a toy on the hardwood floor.

But when you go outside, all bets are off and your kids can run and be loud to their heart’s content, right? Maybe not.

Parenting magazine reports about a couple living in Britain who recently received notice that they may have to pay a fine (over $8,000) to the city after a neighbor complained that their 4 year old son, Alfie, plays too loudly in his garden.

Both parents were shocked to hear about the complaint and possible fine saying that all children make noise while playing outside. Alfie’s mom responds, “What am I supposed to do, gag him and put him in his bedroom?”

If more people complain about Alfie’s noise levels while playing in his yard, the couple will potentially have to pay more in fines and maybe even outfit their son with a digital recording device.

This may sound outrageous to those who feel neighbors should make some concessions that allow children to make noise in their own yards during reasonable hours.

There are others, including some members of a new movement (dubbed “Childfree”) who have chosen not to have kids of their own, that may feel otherwise.

One “childfree” blogger who calls herself Britgirl, shares her opinion about living in close proximity to kids and the responsibility of parents to keep their children quiet. She writes, “I just don’t understand people who seem to think everything should be relegated to the whim of kids’ noise. Having kids is not the benchmark for ‘tolerance’ and said ‘tolerance’ is often a thinly-veiled order to ‘suck it up, buttercup – not our fault you’re childfree.’”

What do you think of the report about the parents who may be fined for their son playing too loudly in his garden?

Do you think neighbors should tolerate some degree of noise when living near kids and babies or is it the parents’ job to maintain quiet from their kids at all times even outdoors?

 

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koalabears by koalabears | Canberra, AL
Sep 16, 2021

I live near kids who scream all day. Dad's a really nice guy and so are the kids (when they aren't screaming ;-)

We have no escape even with windows shut. We can hear them screaming all the down the street.

I didn't raise kids; my husband did ( 2 boys now in their 20s).  I worked with kids for 30 years, though. My husband and his ex-wife set boundaries so the kids knew what was acceptable. He has trouble with the screaming, too.

I realized my mom and dad set boundaries. Mom told me "the rules" as she "wanted adults to like me". My husband's parents did the same. I read one parent's post which said, "try to think back to when you were a kid". Yes, I did; that's why I shared this.

Empathy goes both ways. Setting boundaries teaches kids to become nice adults. 

Tips - use headphones at home. Good luck ;-)

koalabears by koalabears | Canberra, AL
Sep 16, 2021

I live near kids who scream all day. Dad's a really nice guy and so are the kids (when they aren't screaming ;-)

We have no escape even with windows shut. We can hear them screaming all the down the street.

I didn't raise kids; my husband did ( 2 boys now in their 20s).  I worked with kids for 30 years, though. My husband and his ex-wife set boundaries so the kids knew what was acceptable. He has trouble with the screaming, too.

I realized my mom and dad set boundaries. Mom told me "the rules" as she "wanted adults to like me". My husband's parents did the same. I read one parent's post which said, "try to think back to when you were a kid". Yes, I did; that's why I shared this.

Empathy goes both ways. Setting boundaries teaches kids to become nice adults. 

Tips - use headphones at home. Good luck ;-)

Aloyalheart by Aloyalheart | BEAVERTON, OR
May 30, 2021

I live in a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath townhouse. My neighbor has the same floor plan. Total breeders, you would think they were farmers and needed the boys to work the crops. They have six children (and the parents) living in that townhouse.  Two of the boys have ADHD. Plus the backyard is the size of a patio, where they all play. It is insane, the noise level. Plus, the oldest boy goes into the garage, multiple times a day, to smoke weed and the smell comes our way. 

They own their home as I own mine. I have attempted to talk about it and the father felt attacked. If it was a dog on that patio and it barked all day, I could call the police. Seems unfair that I can not call over the children. 

I hate inconsiderate people with a self right attitude. 

1melmel by 1melmel | HUNTSVILLE, AL
Apr 03, 2021

I just had an incident on last night..we are in a townhome community which is fairly quiet on MY street.But we came home last night to about 6 kids running around screaming to the top of their lungs with a kickball in the back yard which isn't really a yard..We have our own open patios that aren't private..and then grass..so the kids were just running and kickin the ball freely on other people's  space.My husband went in the back to ask the children in a nice way to quiet down..and they somewhat did so but they also told one of the parents and maybe 30 minutes later" mr dad" is ringing my doorbell and asking my husband to basically not talk to his children but to come and talk to him.Its not that I don't know what it's like to have children..But I deserve to have a measure of peace in my own home..Take them to the park..At the end of the day It all boils down to RESPECT for others.

Marylii by Marylii | Jkl, AL
Mar 30, 2021

The screeching is just as horrible and scary whether brats screech outside or inside.

Those who say it is ok to scream outside and not inside are the ones who want to send their own nasty selfish offfpring to ruin someone elses life 

Marylii by Marylii | Jkl, AL
Mar 30, 2021

I find it horrifying that people feel entitled. Those who say it is ok to scream outside, do you listen to it and how many hours a day
Also, my heart breaks for poor single moms who live in flats and their kids can't even cry as a baby or wake up at night and use the toilet or walk or laugh. Can't breath. Their moms in fear of being evicted.

Whereas rich spoiled brats scream their lungs out outside. Often have dogs and appliances etc all the time making noise these families.

 

Bryelee by Bryelee | Dover, DE
Oct 04, 2011

I have an autistic child and my 3 get noisy so I am against the fine. I say let the kids play and be kids. Parents shouldn't allow them to be screaming but kids make noise. I think people forget what they were like as kids. The fine is ridiculous!!

momsvoicetoday by momsvoicetoday | cleveland, OK
Sep 29, 2011

Let children be children, as long as the possibly can, if that means they are little loud outside smile and thank God that they are there. There are older people just as likely to make to much noisy as children, so why are we picking on someone that can't defend themselves? I don't think it right. Someone has to much time on their hands, and should or could probably put it to better use (or just use ear plugs). Let the KIDS PLAY!!

whodoneit by whodoneit | jamestown, NY
Sep 28, 2011

I think that a child can be loud at playing but not to the point of screaming. I think if a child is just playing normal and not screaming or banging a drum or a blkow whistle i think they should have the right to play outside. Kids these days are inside watching tv or viedo games. I try to let my kids go out side and play and they know to play without yelling or sceaming but if the neighbor has a problem go and talk to them personally and say what is he doing that is making so much noise for u and i can try to comprimes to make it work for the both of us.

tonibegood by tonibegood | beverly Hills, CA
Sep 24, 2011

I feel like families are being attacked by the childfree movement. If a child is not allowed to play in their own backyard, where and when is it considered tolerable? They can't do it in school, church, temple or indoors....not outdoors is a quiet zone as well??

PANicky by PANicky | Tarentum, PA
Sep 24, 2011

Look, I don't have kids, but as a former child, I know that kids make noise.... Now I am not saying I want it 24/7 but I am not going to ask a neighbor to be fined because her/his child is a little loud. As long as they are fairly quiet between 11p - 7a, I am usually fine with it. I of course do not have this expectation of babies, they cry, especially when they are hungry. Here is a really simple solution: if you are a single or a couple with no children, find out who your neighbors are before you buy or be really nice and ask your neighbor if their play/school age children could be quieter before 7 or 8 on the weekends.

mamalueh by mamalueh | Plymouth, MN
Sep 23, 2011

Is it okay for adults to laugh out loud at a back yard barbeque? What about people who mow the lawn on a Saturday morning? Surely that is louder than children playing. Kids should be quieter in the library, at the grocery store, at school, sure, but playing outside? Really? Do you go to a baseball game and sit quietly? Have you never seen a football game on t.v.? And these are adults. And what about construction of a deck, perhaps? There are noise ordinances for a reason: we need to be able to make reasonable noises during reasonable hours or we would be trapped in our houses sitting quietly with our hands in our laps.

aeryka310 by aeryka310 | Sharonville, OH
Sep 19, 2011

why does everyone expect other people's kids to be perfect? i'm sure that complainer had kids too, who were also loud when they played outside. kids are kids, none are perfect and they need to get some of that energy and loudness out!!! is there a similar fine in that city for dogs barking and birds chirping, i wonder? as long as its at a reasonable time, i dont see any problems with kids running around yelling and personally, i find it refreshing to hear kids playing!

laboule by laboule | Eastvale, CA
Sep 18, 2011

If kids are not taught to be considerate of other people, they will grow up to be rude noisy teenagers and then rude noisy adults. Better to teach consideration of others and good manners while they are young.

Wanda78 by Wanda78 | ANNISTON, AL
Sep 15, 2011

In school our kids are told to sit down and be quiet. When they are in a restaraunt, they have to be quiet as not to disturb others that are eating. But when they are outside, they should be able to be as loud and as crazy and as playful as God made them to be! We as adults should allow kids to just be kids and enjoy their childhood because they are only kids once in their lifetime but adults for always.