When a case of the wedding jitters hits it may be more serious than you think. A new study suggests cold feet may even be reason enough to reconsider your options before heading down the aisle.
USA Today reports about the new California University study which surveyed 464 newlyweds over a four year period. The study shows that newlyweds who admitted to having doubts on their wedding day were 2.5 times more likely to get a divorce and many of those who had cold feet on their big day and were not yet divorced said they were unhappy in their marriage.
Men were about 10% more likely to have cold feet with 47% of males saying they had doubts and 38% of women admitting to having nervous feelings before their wedding. But interestingly, the women’s cold feet more often predicted a divorce in the future.
So do cold feet really suggest a doomed marriage from the start? The study only asks respondents whether they had hesitation or doubts before their wedding so there is no way of knowing what feelings were behind those doubts and whether those doubts could have predicted a bad marriage. Lead author Justin Lavner explains, “The question was 'Were you ever uncertain or hesitant about getting married?' Just a yes or no. The simplicity is great because it's such a basic question. But unfortunately, it doesn't allow us to say if it's doubts about the partner or doubts about marriage in general. Doubts specific to the relationship or partner are generally worse than doubts about marriage in general.”
What do you think of the new study suggesting cold feet may suggest divorce is eminent?
How did you and your spouse feel on your wedding day?
Hmmm....this is very interesting. I was always sure about my husband when we were dating and engaged....I knew what I wanted and was 100% sure but the day of my wedding right before I put on my dress I totally freaked out. Wasn't sure if I wanted to do this and now 6 years later we are getting divorced...so maybe there is some insight to this study.
I bawled my way down the isle! I assumed it. Was. Nerves! Now I know it was my subconscious telling me to stop and run away! It went down him immediately! After dating for 11 yrs we were only married for 4 years when I asked for a divorce! I am now remarried. And extremely happy!
It was more than jitters and I should have paid attention. I was lucky to survive.
I think some makes sense. I had no emotions whenI got married. I was more concerned about being married when before 30. Then when I didn't have jitters and asked what he thought of it didn't make sense. Up until the day we go married he never said fiance only his friend. That should have been a wake up call.
I worried it was a mistake in the weeks leading up to it and was a very unhappy bride. I should have known.... I'm in the process of a divorce, now. There's something to be said for this study.
A Little bit nervous is expected. Will everything happen as planned and ordered? It's that raw unnerving pit in your stomach that says," don't do it" or says," not that guy", that is the truth. I should have listened. Some friends just blew the feeling off. He turned out to be controlling, abusive, hateful, cheater.
I never had a doubt or the jitters and my husband and I celebrated our thirtieth anniversary this July...
My first marriage I was hesitant and as you can guess it ended in divorce thanks to him being untrustworthy, so I think deep down our natural intuition tries to tell us but sometimes we are just blindsided by love. My second marriage (done right in church, the dress etc...) no doubts, jitters, hesitancy just smiles and happiness, 6 kids and 26 years later my intuition proved right!
I had no jitters whatsoever, but I'd say stage fright that some people have in front of an audience is strechin it a bit to say the union is doomed!
This is interesting. I wonder if they asked before or after they got divorced about whether they had wedding day jitters? I think its natural for someone to have some jitters. It depends on the extent.