SHESPEAKS Your Power to Influence

Just Do It: Ask a Man Out!

Just Do It: Ask a Man Out!

 You have been flirting with him, and he has been flirting with you. You have been patiently waiting for him to ask you out, but nothing has happened. What is a girl to do? Maybe it is time for you to ask him out. Yes girl, if you are in it to win love, go after the man that you want.

The thought of asking a man out may give you pause. Believe me, I struggle with this myself. Some of us like to be romanced and we like a guy to pursue us. In reality, a prince is not going to pull up on a horse holding flowers while saying all the right things. If you are waiting for this to happen, you have been watching far too many romance movies. Let’s keep it real, if you hold out for this to happen you just may be single for a long time.
 
Why oh why is he not asking you out? There could be a few reasons to for his lack of follow through. Since I started coaching men, I have come to realize how intimidated some men really are when it comes to women. It is not an excuse or a cop out. Women have started to earn just as much money if not more than men. We own our own property; have amazing jobs, travel by ourselves, and many other things. Sisters are doing it for themselves so much; it can make a guy wonder who in the world would want him.
 
Another reason could be that he is interested, but he is taken. In this case, don’t poach on another woman’s man. I know you think you will never find another man like him, but if you know that he is with someone else, leave him alone. Do not buy into the hype that a good man is hard to find. Keep on looking and before you know it, someone else will catch your eye.
 
The biggest reason he may not be asking you out is because he is not sure if you like him. Sometimes, we think we are being clear with our body language, but that may not be the case. If you are flirting with other men in his presence to get a reaction, the poor guy is confused.
Asking a man out will give you the answer to the burning question “Does he like me?” Instead of making up all kinds of scenarios in your mind that may or may not be true, get the suspense over with and ask him out. Pick something casual to do like going to get beer and wings or grabbing coffee.
 
I took this question to the men, and the overwhelming response was definitely ask them out. In most cases, the men do not expect for us to pay even if we ask them out first. I even got a great response from Naomi Jaffe, a yoga teacher in Brooklyn. She said, “I’m not a guy, but I asked my husband out first. We’ve been together 20 years.” That is proof enough, and an endorsement that it really can work in our favor if we ask a guy out. Just do it!

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  • kmiddleton09 By kmiddleton09
    09.28.11  

    I've thought about this many times, but have such a difficult time. I don't know if I could ever bring myself to really doing it, but maybe I will have to give it a try.

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