As far as obituaries go, a short and sweet tribute to a loved one’s life is what we are used to seeing. But after reading the unique obituary penned for a woman named Mary Leigh Schaaf you will probably wish that you had known her. The written tribute, which is now being shared on social media by those who never knew Schaaf, is both poignant and fall on the floor funny at times.
Schaaf, who passed in Columbus, Ohio on April 24th was said to be a talented artist, dressmaker for dolls and a beloved CCD teacher among many many other things. After becoming fluent in Latin at university she was known to correct priests now and again. Her obit reads, “You hadn't lived until you'd seen Mom correct a priest's Latin. They don't like that.”
As many moms can relate, Schaaf was also known to be very protective over her two children: “A nurturer by nature, she was a mother to all kids who crossed her path, but reserved her greatest talent for her biological children: helicopter parenting. Like an Apache helicopter storming a beach in 'Nam while blaring ‘Ride of the Valkyries,’ thus was much teenage fun ruined at her deft hand.”
Apparently Shaaf was also a novice cosmetologist as is explained in this humorous anecdote: “Amateur cosmetology was another creative pursuit. She started by giving her daughter blond highlights, which turned into a bronze halo around the middle of her head. Undeterred, she decided to pioneer a new method of eyebrow hair removal: candle wax. After several minutes of trying to stick her daughter's right eyebrow back on, she at last admitted defeat (but only after her daughter convinced her that glueing an eyebrow back on with superglue was not wise).”
Schaaf, who apparently passed from complications of breast cancer, was also known to flirt with those who came to her rescue: “During that first round of cancer, she discovered a new hobby for those traumatizing ambulance transports: groping the bulging muscles of a handsome firefighter/EMT while pretending to be in a dissociative fugue.”
Many of us can only hope that we leave our loved ones with a merth of loving memories and fodder for tributes like this. The obituary is wrapped up lovingly and with a hint of humor saying, “We will miss her humor, her quirks, her love and generosity, and her politically insensitive interpretation of Karaoke. Our eyebrows may be safe, but our lives are a lot less joyful.”
What do you think of this unique tribute?