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  The Power of Our Influence

lisadarena


 
 
Moms, and the pressure to lose baby weight.
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on May 25, 2008 (Read 2921 times | Comments: 11)
I have had my 3rd child 8 months ago. The first 2, I gained 50lbs. This last one, 78lbs!! I lost it the first 2 times within a year, dieting, and exercising. This last one..not sure if it all the 78lbs, or my age, (34), but it is so hard. I wake up at 3am everyday and hit the gym for 2 hours. It is coming off, slowly but surely. There are a couple of ladies at my gym who are "plastic", they have had implants, lipo, botox etc...and have made comments in my presence about my still having the weight on me when Christina Aguilara, Heidi Klum etc..all lost their weight in weeks after they had their baby. Well, if I had nannies, personal chefs, personal trainers, their money etc... I'd probably be in my "skinny" clothes by now. Why is it that women face so many pressures to look a certain way? I do my part, I workout, I eat right and I am healthy, but that isn't enough it seems for "society' to accept you as an individual. I wish the entertainment industry would work on a much more positive self image, not only for mothers, but more importantly for our teens who seem to develope eating disorders by 12!!!! AGH! It is so frustrating to live in a world where you are truly judged by the way you look, and not by the person you are. Anyone else feel this way?
suresh_nadendla
suresh_nadendla
on Jul 11, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

sorry....lisa..
lilmami08
lilmami08
on Jul 11, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

i know exactly how you feel. i too have had 3 children, and i always felt happy with my weight, but i feel so much pressure from other people to become skinny. im not fat by any means, but i have shape, and may have a few extra pounds than necessary. but why cant who i am be enough for people? in high school i had more than one friend who struggle with eating disorders because they were made fun of for not fitting into the trend of being skinny. its a horrible thing!
chochie1
chochie1
on Jul 21, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

I'd like to know the same thing in terms of why women face so many pressures to look a certain way. It seems like a lot of men get off the hook on this. It's okay for a man to look average or overweight or not keep up on grooming but if a woman doesn't look perfect people are all over her. And how often do we hear that "she's not good looking enough for him?" or other such comments? It shouldn't matter how skinny you are or how much plastic surgery you've had to look "perfect," it should be what you're like inside. Besides, do looks make a friendship or marriage? I think not. It's a shame that our kids are learning that looks mean more than what's inside and that they're paying for it. You'd think someone would have realized by now but people don't seem to care these days.
hibicent
hibicent
on Jul 22, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

Oh boy do I feel this as well! My problem with my weight began after I quit a 20 year smoking habit and gained twenty pounds in the first year (that hand to mouth thing killed me)! I was blessed with my second child soon after and just could not drop the weight. I too get the snide comments at the gym and even people close to me make some not-so-nice remarks, "you used to be so thin, what happened"? UUUUUUUUGH!!!! I try to eat healthy and I do try to fit in some exercise, but it's just not happening for me! Your right about the expectations society has, but one thing I have realized is that it's up to me to decide to not care what society thinks about my weight, I will just keep chugging along until I get to where I need to be and do so at my own speed! Good luck to all us "normal" mom's!!!!!
thebutlerdidit
thebutlerdidit
on Jul 25, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

I can't believe you're hearing these types of comments behind your back at the gym of all places, where you're sweating and working hard. One, just one comment like that and I'd never be at that gym again. I figure if you can't find support and encouragement at the gym, where the heck are you going to find it? I would not spend another nickel there.

And friends commenting on your weight? Does it bother them that much that they'd risk being so rude? Are these people really friends? Doesn't sound like it to me.
lilmami08
lilmami08
on Aug 01, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

my gym has rules on that. if anybody makes comments on a person's weight, they are no longer members of the gym. and those famous people that those ladies at your gym mentioned, well they have millions of dollars and nanny's that are with their kids 24/7 while theyre out doing whatever they do to lose their weight!
LATeach
LATeach
on Aug 02, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

I have 5 kids and a multitude of grandkids and never had a problem with weight until I hit 50. I think as women we have to stop feeding the myth that there is ONE correct body-type, lifestyle, all that stuff. My two youngest daughters eat healthy, are active like crazy and have never worn a size 6. But they know they are super great. In the book "Bean Trees" a young woman is watching her friend look in the mirror and say thing like "I should be shot for looking this way. I look like something the cat puked up." The watching friend keeps wishing the mirror would say positive things back, but it doesn't - it just parrots the same words back. I guess we all have to remember to be each others positive voices and be kind to ourselves, too. And Lisa, honestly, those women can't be saying very positive things to themselves either - or they wouldn't have tried to have some doctor 'fix' them. You are taking the steps that are right for you and that provides the kind of role model young women need... You Go Girl!
romeromr002
romeromr002
on Aug 04, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

Think of it this way.... at least you are trying to lose the weight the right way! Just because you are not trying to make yourself look like a Christina Aguilera doesn?t mean anything. You are you, and be yourself. Just because you are not trying to look like everyone else it is fine. Don't let people bring you down like that. You should just please yourself and no one else! Women have always been looked at. You are beautiful no matter how you look I believe, everyone is different and accept that. Just know that people judge no matter what you look like, if you are too skinny, pretty, ugly..... no matter the situation everyone always judges. Trust me. But I am just glad that you are not going under the knife to lose weight. It?s not worth it! Yes, it might take you a while to lose the lbs you gained, but if you continue to do your thing, it will come. I have known people who have been in your position, and when once they put their minds to it, it was accomplished!! Good luck Lisa.

Melissa
JEM4612
JEM4612
on Aug 21, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

You are doing the right thing by trying to lose weight the healthy way and not getting sucked into the artificial attitude that some women possess. While I agree that men are not held to the same standards as women, I have heard way, way, way more women than men make snide comments about a women's appearance. We need to quit allowing women to "bully" other women without ramifications. When I hear a women make a rude comment now, I will address it even though I may be embarrassed. As I approach middle-age I realize that there is more to life than my appearance to the world. I love the Dove campaign that is helping girls understand they are beautiful even if they don't look like the cover model on their favorite magazine. I have always liked Dove products, but this campaign has made me a life-long customer.
patybluetx
patybluetx
on Aug 21, 2008 Quote  »     Reply  »

I totally feel your frustration. My situation is a little different. In December I was supposed to have my first child, instead I had heart failure...long story short two weeks before I was supposed to be holding my healthy little girl I found myself in an ICU unit with a breathing tube down my throat. It turned out that I hadn't gained any weight, it was all waterweight! So in 3 days I lost the weight with prescribed diuretics sp? but I was left with A LOT of flab, just hanging there ugh! So I've spent the last 8 months trying to recover from my heart issues (now fully recovered woohoo!), battling depression and my bulge! My advice, don't stress out about it (I know easier said than done) because if you stress (I have learned) you only gain more weight. Stress, depression, anxiety and such can cause your body to hold on to fat making it feel like your trying to climb Everest and getting no where. I'm glad that you're doing it in a healthy manner and not starving yourself or doing fad diets. Hang in there! And good luck!
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