WORK WITH US
SheSpeaks
LOGIN JOIN NOW
WORK WITH US
LOGIN JOIN NOW
Discussion Home / Relationships / Relationship Help / After baby relationship rut?
Discussion Forums
Categories
Beauty & Fashion
Money
Parenting
Relationships
Entertainment
Food
Introductions
Lets Do Some Good
Living
Hobbies
Womens Lifestages
Bloggers
  Relationship Help

nitroussquash


 
 
After baby relationship rut?
 Post reply image
on Dec 09, 2014 (Read 518 times | Comments: 6)
Hi, so I have had two back to back pregnancies and my kids are 18 months and 7 months old. My husband and I had an exciting and lustful relationship, but after babies were born the spark is gone. We are always talking about the diapers we need to buy, or the huge mess the kids made, or about the laundry that needs done. Our once amazing relationship turned into mundane conversation in the middle of chaos and his busy work schedule. By the time the kids are in bed we are just so tired from the days events we don't have the energy to connect on any romantic level. Any ideas on getting back that spark that seems to have been burned out by baby drool? Thanks in advanced!
Justmissash
Justmissash
on Dec 11, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

Make time. Even if you really aren't into it at the time. You both need "happy" time. It was hard for us after my last child, I was overweioverweight and tired and we almost lost each other. But we found we had to make time for us. Make it fun. And compromised. You both have to find something or somewsomeway to have fun together. The spark is still there, beneath the exhaustion and the responsibilities. Leave love notes, sneak little pokes and squeezes, make up a dirty language in code word. My husband works at auto shop and when we talk dirty when kids may be around it usually goes like, "I think it's time to check the oil, or I think I need to park my car in the garage" !!! I know it's cheesy, I said I'd never do that, but with kids you have to somehow. Good luck. And stay strong. It will eventually come back if you both work at it. Also I know it may be easier to be lazy & dress lazy, not saying you do but, if you make yourself look sexy once in a while, for no reason, tease him...
Justmissash
Justmissash
on Dec 11, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

Sorry about the spelling lol stupid auto correct on my phone ugh
Justmissash
Justmissash
on Dec 11, 2014 Quote  »     Reply  »

And rub his hair, give him a back massage, rub his feet, buy him a movie, and cook him dinner. Sometimes men are stubborn and you literally have to treat him before he'll get into it. Sometimes. Spoil him and show him why you are his prize then tease the hell out of him. Pull a Jennifer Aniston and walk naked through the house for a drink after kids are in bed. Make sure you have a lock on your door and a radio in your room in case kids decide to get up lol. Or in case you are afraid of them hearing or walking in. Get a book, get a porno, pornhub online is free for first couple videos a day. Some are really cheesy. Lol. These are all things we have tried and we've been together 5 years. Though some days romance is still a struggle.
Shay90
Shay90
on Feb 11, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

Yall should try to make time out of the day especially for each other. It can be hard but you can make it work. www.facebook.com/parentingisgreat
simplysharali
simplysharali
on Feb 25, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

Hey. I read your blog and it seems like it's something that I recently was experiencing too. Relationships are really difficult sometimes, but it gets even more difficult when you become parents. Being a parent is a big responsibility, but I believe that you should always make time for your relationship with your partner. Having children is like never ending and sometimes it seems like you can never make time for your partner and trust me I know it's difficult. Some of the things that I suggest are picking out a day where you both are available for each other to spend time together. If you don't, then just figure out a time where both of you actually see each other. For me, me and my husband definitely worked out a schedule. He works like almost every day, but on his working days, he always has 2 hour break every day and that's when we usually spend time together. That is usually "Our time." Also, always do things that you both enjoy doing together. Enjoy each other's hobbies.
savvysister
savvysister
on Mar 04, 2015 Quote  »     Reply  »

"Love is a many splendid thing".......a lot of work....you bet it is! But it is so worth it. Some great ideas have been shared. With new and improved weapons of massive loving, it won't be long before the ACTION begins. Be sure to keep us posted.