Shespeaks Logo
BLOG CATEGORIES
All Things that Inspire Women Who Inspire Causes We Care About Health/Wellness Books We Love What's Going on At SheSpeaks?
A Heartbroken Mother Changes The Rules
Posted June 9, 2009

Hearing that a loved one has been injured or killed is the most devastating news a person can ever receive.  One woman, Carmela Wiant, from Ohio has worked hard to make sure parents don’t have to suffer through the same experience she had when she received news of her son’s, David Christopher Money’s, death. 

According to Wiant’s website, David Money passed away after getting into a car accident from hydroplaning.  The Chaplain informed Wiant over the phone of her son’s death.  As traumatic as this information can be, Wiant thought there should be another, more humane, way of communicating this information to parents.  She wanted a chance to say goodbye or be with her son before he died.

A few months after her son’s death, Wiant started lobbying for a bill so that people could be informed of a loved one’s death in the proper way.  The Money-Burge Act (also known as “Next Of Kin” Bill), in memory of David Money and Steve Burge, allows people to add an emergency contact’s information right onto their driver’s license.  This addition to the license allows the first responders on the scene of an accident to contact the next of kin so they can be with the accident victim a lot sooner.

Wiant describes what she went through while lobbying for the bill on her website.  She wrote, “The process of doing this Bill sometimes was very emotional, very stressful and sometimes I just wanted to quit, but every time I would look at my Son’s picture I would say ‘What if the tables were turned and they told him this way’…”

What do you think of the Money-Burge Act put in place by Carmela Wiant?

Do you think other states should follow Ohio’s lead and pass bills similar to this one?

 

43 Comments
thebutlerdidit says: on Jun 09, 2009
It's an idea that came from a bad experience, but I see so many problems with this bill. We are just way too mobile. A contact number today will be a number that we've abandoned in favor of a cell phone number tomorrow. Incorrect and outdated contact information will cause so many headaches for emergency workers. I feel for Carmela and her experience, but I don't see this bill as making a huge difference.
emac79 says: on Jun 09, 2009
I understand the reasons behind Wiant's bill, but I agree that it would cause too many headaches. First of all, the first responders on the scene are there to save a life, not contact next of kin. Secondly, next of kin should not be contacted until the outcome is clear. I am sure emergency workers do not need horrified spouses and parents screaming at them from the sidelines as they try their best to save a life. I do agree that information like that should not be shared over the phone, but I believe not all police departments do that. I think Waint's case is more of an exception than the general rule. An easy way around this without having to change the law is deciding as a family to use the ICE system. In your cell phone, save your 1st emergency contact number under ICE (In Case of Emergency). Then, if hurt, respondents to the scene can scroll through the phone and get the number.
funKat says: on Jun 09, 2009
Sure it's horrible to hear someone's death especially those of a loved one. This bill may help those who are the victim's kin but I guess it's going to be that easy. I guess still depends on the people on how they accept the news.
funKat says: on Jun 09, 2009
Sure it's horrible to hear someone's death especially those of a loved one. This bill may help those who are the victim's kin but I guess it's NOT going to be that easy. I guess still depends on the people on how they accept the news.
BlondieKAA says: on Jun 09, 2009
I understand where Wiant is coming from. I think that I were in the same situation, I would feel the same way. I guess I'm not sure that this bill will really change a whole lot or make it "easier" on a family who is grieving the loss of a loved one.
marina71702 says: on Jun 11, 2009
I think EMAC79's idea is great! It would be a hard situtation no matter what, but it would give emergency workers a way to contact family when they feel it is necessary, and time to do so.
jjmix7 says: on Jun 11, 2009
In my family we use the "ICE" on the cell phone to indicate In Case of Emergency. I prefer that over putting something on the driver's license.
DEXTERBUZZ says: on Jun 11, 2009
I think this is a great idea - as long as there is a way to keep the information up to date - then all parents / loved ones would have a ICE at hand no matter what happens.
WorkingMom67 says: on Jun 11, 2009
More power to her...amazing idea yet so sad that it had to come out of a tragedy. Good luck!!
hawthorneterp says: on Jun 12, 2009
I like the idea of a bill to have a alternative way to contacting next of kin, but I do notlike the idea of it on my driver"s license. Too many people have access to the information. I am concerned some people could use the next of kins info to scam the next of kin. Maybe a better alternative would be the requirement that they are told in person rather than over the phone.
zackarysmom says: on Jun 12, 2009
I think this idea is wonderful! As a past firefighter and EMT, there are always people around (cops, etc) that are not able to do anything and THEY would be calling. In regards to "spouses and parents screaming from the sidelines"? In most cases, it's much better having someone who knows about their allergies, meds....do you realize how many times we are working blind? As a mother, if there is a chance to saying goodbye to my child, you can bet that I would want to be there. ANY real parent would want that...show me one parent who wouldn't want to say goodbye or just touch their childs hair or hand while it was still warm. I realize how cold people have become nowadays...and to say that this woman was the exception not the rule? Um, wrong! Our society is so cold now that everything is done the quickest way possible....having someone who actually cares is the exception. And as seen by some of the responses, I have proved my point.
WINDI_H says: on Jun 12, 2009
As a new parent, I have yet to be exposed to this kind of situation. In good faith, I believe she has a right to push for the bill. We as a society are not personable. Only imagine to be told over the phone. I think someone should have went to the indiviual in person to break the news.I agree with what was said about information on the D/L changing. After I got married, I changed the name but totally fotgot to change the address. Good going huh? I wish her luck with the bill, however, I do believe they are a long way from getting all the potiental problems worked out.
calif_lovebite says: on Jun 12, 2009
I read this and i felt the words .. I lost my baby son 36 years ago.. if they only had something like a allergies & med on our licenses that would be my wish for way back when ... I still think of my sons tragic death so long ago ...i was a mother back then and just because there was 20 years in between all of my childrens births didnt make me not miss my 36 year old son any less. I would of liked more info , perhaps he may have had a chance... now i am blessed with my two teenagers that i have now ........ ty zackarysmom i heard your words Sjo OH yeah in oklahoma the licenses there OMG have your SSN as your ID number ... i didnt like it at all that anyone could see your SSN
dianab says: on Jun 12, 2009
I agree that this should be cell phone based or computer based. There must be access to computer data or something more reliable and easy to update in case of emergency.
woogoo says: on Jun 12, 2009
This bill is a double edged sword. It can work in favor and against the person or people who it was intended to help
emac79 says: on Jun 13, 2009
I like the idea of having medical needs put on the license - allergies, meds, stuff like that - but often times that changes, often, too. I still think this woman's case is the exception. I had a close friend lose a sister in a one car accident. EMT's worked like mad to save her, but couldn't. They did not receive a phone call. They had 2 policemen and a chaplain show up at their home to give them the information, pray with them, and offer assistance in any way possible. And as for "one last touch when they are still warm" - take every opportunity you have to hug and hold your children. Never let them leave without saying goodbye and I love you. Then that need may not be so great (still there, obviously, but lessened).
michellececena says: on Jun 13, 2009
This should be something implemented in every state! I am very sorry for your loss as no parent wants to bury their child first. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Luna4902 says: on Jun 13, 2009
I think it is a wonderful idea because I was one of those people who was in a horrid accident and had no family or friends there for me until I told the nurses at the hospital to call my family. If I had not been coherent enough to tell them to call my loved ones,they would not have known. I do have ICE in my phone but during the accident my phone was lost somewhere in the car and was not retrieved til days later. Having the information right at hand would be great. A tip to all the woman out there from Ohio if you go to the DMV website you can add emergency contact information to your liscence that will come up in there system to call. I found out about this a couple of months ago and did it right away!
rainyday says: on Jun 14, 2009
i feel there should be a bill pass in all states to be notified in a decent manner when there is a death,also there should be (next of kin )should be on DL
Sonkissed2006 says: on Jun 14, 2009
Perfect idea! I am a nurse and work in the hospital and deal with this almost daily it seems. It's hard to see a patient die alone or to find out a family member was too late in finding out so they could come to see their loved one before they died.
megnbttrfly says: on Jun 15, 2009
This is a WONDERFUL idea...it will not be as difficult as some believe. =)
Morkoor says: on Jun 16, 2009
I think this is a great idea and a step in the right direction. Although everyone should always have this information on their person in their wallets. Unfortunately, young children do not have driver's licenses. We need to realize that all problems can't be fixed thru changes in law. Nothing can be 100% effective. Due to so many laws, regulations, lawyers, etc. the general public is afraid to help others because of the repercussions they may suffer later on. Also, it is the priority of the people at the site of an accident to take care of the needs of the injured first to try and save them or stablize them. Sometimes when we try to improve things we end up complicating things for the people that are trying to help us. Every action does cause a reaction. God bless everyone that has suffered such horrific losses. I am truly sorry for their losses.
robynlong says: on Jun 16, 2009
what a wonderful idea, I hope that can figure out how to make this bill work and work for everyone. My family at this time uses ICE ~ in case of emergency.
mmb2153 says: on Jun 18, 2009
I believe this idea is both beautiful and effective. Depending on the situation, that phone call could offer information that is life saving, and if not, at the very least it will provide piece of mind for both the person called and the person harmed. It seems so simple when you look at it this way, one small thing can make a big difference. I also believe something along these lines should be used for children and people who are not yet of age to drive. Accidents happen everywhere and not only to people carrying a license. There should be a card with listed emergency numbers that they carry. Just as a diabetic wears a bracelet to inform people of his/her condition, everyone should take part in helping themselves and one another created a safer situation all around.
radar525 says: on Jun 24, 2009
Why can't they add the next of kin/emergency contact information onto your DL without putting it on the face or back of the card, but using the electronic stripe on the back? Should you get pulled over, police swipe your DL anyway to verify your information. Why can't the system be upgraded to allow drivers to log onto a website, enter their DL# and add this emergency contact information? Most states have DLs or state IDs with this stripe on the back. I do use ICE on my cell phone as well, but depending on the type of accident, a victim's cell phone may not be readily located. Most responders will check for a wallet or purse first to get ID on the patient. If a person's basic emergency info were accessible by scanning the DL, it seems to be a better and more private way rather than cramming more small text onto the front or back of the ID.
myangel82 says: on Jun 24, 2009
This will not be on the drivers license. This will be a secure database when they put the license in it will say emergency contact available where the law enfocement agencies will have to get through the LEADS.. We have had 110,747 sign up in 9 months. I will never get back what was taken from me, being right by his side with my only son David.
y2kgrad says: on Jul 05, 2009
Readily accessible next of kin information can be essential to all first responders to better aid the patient /victim and, in the case of a death, the patient's family. A secure database associated with driver's license information is a great start.
brit1029 says: on Jul 05, 2009
I think this is a great idea, in the past I worked in a hospital where families come to see the accident victims. Sometimes an hour or two passes before they are notified and get the emergency room.
3bower says: on Jul 14, 2009
I think that a database would be a great idea and that if a number changes it would be up to the individual to make the appropriate changes. If my son were in an accident I would want to know as quickly as possible and this seems like an attempt to make connection.
stonemom says: on Jul 15, 2009
I think it is a great idea. I feel that this kind of news should be delivered in as personal a way as possible. I realize taht some circumstances would notallow for this. But when they do it should be done. It is hard to hear about the death of any loved one but to hear it over the phone by the chaplain after they had already gone is not the way it should be.
mommy_noel says: on Jul 25, 2009
i believe the initial idea is good but needs further thought. I understand in some cases that everything happens so quick where EMS have to choose wether to save the person in need or be "calling next of kin". i do agree next of kin info should be available but in computer for where when they input your DL # that next of kin is listed. also a checkbox on the back that says next of kin on file would be handy like they have organ donor. that way EMS can easily see if the box is checked to locate next of kin. if not checked then they would know that noone is on file. just a little more thought in the bill and I believe that it would work.
myangel82 says: on Aug 11, 2009
I am Carmela my son is 27 today Aug 10.. I spoke with a police officer and he was able to contact the family they went to the hospital to be with there loved one. An older couple put there doctors name as contact because of the meds they were on. They were in an accident and the doctor told them what they could and could not have and by the time they got to the Hospital there medical records were there. It is in a data base where LEADS can only use it for emergency situations. They will not have family come to the accident scene. It is so officers can go to there home. Thank you for the kind words and support with this. It should be in every state. Look at all the college kids outta of state. This girl was in the Hospital for 2 days before parents where notified because they did not know how to get a hold of them..
KateK3020 says: on Aug 15, 2009
It is nice to be able to run someones drivers license and find a couple contacts but if in case they are unavailable, then there should be another way. It is a great theory and a heartfelt bill but we should still keep emergency contact information in our wallets and in our cars and maybe on our cell phones. If someone is desperate enough to help they will go through your phone and there are plenty of contacts who will know other contacts. This bill is good in theory and i am sorry it happened, but there are still so many other things we need to take into consideration.
jeanelley says: on Sep 07, 2009
I think a brilliant idea has been born from a tragedy. Maybe there would be problems with contact numbers changing, but maybe it wouldn't have to be so permenant. Maybe it could be a number taped to the back of your DL. That would be something that is changeable. I personally have my mother listed in my phone as Mom-ICE, because I was told by a firefighter that they do check for that. It would definately help, not hinder, their jobs. Good luck to her...I hope she can help the world with this idea.
myangel82 says: on Sep 21, 2009
I have heard where it has helped an older couple. They had been in an accident and there emergency contact information they put as their doctor. When the police put in the drivers license it gave the doctors name and they called them by the time they got them to the ER room there medicals records were there for the ER doctors. So this is a great tool for everyone. Please keep passing it along. This should be in all states. The only people that can get this information is the police officers and it has to come from the leads program as long as someone has signed up for this and they can only get the information if it is medical emergency or an accident.
blake2020ca says: on Sep 25, 2009
I think it is an amazing idea and other states for sure should be using it. On a side note, if you put your emergency contact into your cell phone under the listing Emergency Contact most police/first responders will look and call that number. I have my husband listed int here under Emergency Contact and under his own name.
UCILikeFrogs says: on Oct 07, 2009
I think that this is a great idea.Good for her.
iritsoutherngirl says: on Oct 15, 2009
I'm grateful that Carmela Wiant came up with this idea. It's very, very sad that she had to go through the loss of her son though.
myangel82 says: on Oct 23, 2009
I would love to see it in other states. If you know of anyone that went through this type of experience I would sure help them get this in there state. I have called many but not living in that state it is not as easy. God bless all of you for you comments I really miss my David especially Hi mom with that big beautiful smile and I love you mom with his great big hug. I love you David.
Alyssarae92293 says: on Oct 29, 2009
a loss of a child is awful.
laidoff says: on Jan 22, 2010
God Bless you and your family....and never give up.
taraware says: on Jan 28, 2010
Perhaps she was not in the same city or state as her child when he was in the accident? That would explain why she got a phone call instead of a police officer at the door.
ponderingprincess says: on Apr 29, 2010
I think its a good idea, I hope it all works out.
To comment, please 
 or