Ever since people started moving in with each other before marriage, researchers have been studying the effects.Years ago the idea of an unwed couple living together made many people uncomfortable and raised quite a few eyebrows.
Today, the idea of couples cohabitating has become a lot more common.According to a report by the National Marriage Project at New Jersey's Rutgers University more than half of couples in their first marriages lived together beforehand.
Reports that came out some 20 and 25 years ago revealed negative effects of living with a significant other before marriage.The divorce rate proved to be substantially higher than those who did not live together before marriage.Researchers today believe this was due to the fact that cohabitating couples back then were considered the rebels and may have not been interested in marriage to begin with.
As living together before marriage becomes more common, the more important it is for couples to discuss this exciting next step in their relationship.A recent CNN article discusses a few important things that couples should consider before taking the plunge.First, the reason for moving in together should be understood by both partners.Decide together whether this is the next step toward marriage or you are just doing it out of convenience and financial need.
Lee Richey, a marriage and family therapist, says a couple should ask themselves if they are going to truly commit to each other's well being on every level.If the answer is no, then they should reconsider the big move.Richey also suggests couples find a new place together rather than moving into their spouses already established place of residence.This will help to make the couple feel equal ownership over the space.
What do you think of moving in with a partner before marriage?
In what ways do you think this move could benefit or hurt a committed couple?
I have not been married, but my fiance has been he is 10 years older than me and has 2 daughters. Living together before we get married has probably been the best thing for us. It let us know what we were getting our selves into, I'm 22 and living with a 10 year old and 8 year old who are going to be my stepdaughters getting to know their ways and his ways prior to marrage has been a real eye opener. I love my fiance and his daughters with my entire heart, I think it would have been more of a shock to all of us if we got married, moved in, became stepmom, this eased everything one step at at time. Its not for everyone, if you love each other you can make anything happen.
kstar529::
on Oct 05, 2008
My husband and I waited until we were married before moving in together and I have to say that I am SO glad we did. People who say you don't truly know someone until you live with them are mistaken. We've been married for over 3 years and each day gets better and better. Not living with him prior had absolutely no effect on how well I knew him. I have several friends who did the same thing as us and would agree 100%. Getting married and being newlyweds was so much fun for us because it was all so new and exciting. Based on what I've seen with people I know, it seems that those who DO move in together end up having relationship problems and there just seems to be a lack of commitment on one end or the other. A lot of the excitement dies down and there's not much reason to even get married anymore. The pursuing of one another stops and the dating stops. On the other side I do have to say that I've seen things go great as well. I'm just speaking from personal experience and opinion. Obviously, it's to each their own.
softballhead8::
on Mar 01, 2009
I absolutely disagree with living together before you are married. This is completely because of my religion. If I had no religion, I can see how this would benefit a relationship, however, I believe that this is completely wrong. No if's, and's, or but's about it.
